Munna Michael Review

Munna Michael

Director- Sabbir Khan

Starring- A wax model, a tiny waist line and One Man Acting Workshop

Rating- 5 Panadols

 Ronit Roy plays Michael. He finds an abandoned baby boy on the road, brings him home and calls him Munna. The baby is then called Munna Michael. It is this creative thinking that lends this movie a special edge. The film abounds with such gems. Like the dance reality show is called Dancing Star and wait for this one, an airline is called Just Fly. By the way if you haven’t yet figured out, you are reading this review on a screen. You have eyes. And you are alive. Captain Obvious Zindabad!!

So Munna Michael grows up to become his own wax model; Munna Mombatti. He loves his father so much that he leaves his ailing papa in Mumbai and goes to Delhi. Such love, I choked on my popcorn. What’s wrong with Papa, we have no clue. Anyway Munna Mombatti becomes BFFs with the One Man Acting Institute Mahinder played by Nawazudin Siddique, who wants to be a dancer so that he can impress a girl he loves. Why does he love her? Because she has blow-dried hair. That’s it. No questions asked, Mombatti becomes Acting Institute’s dance instructor, his wingman and his personal DHL service, delivering gifts to blow-dried hair. Blow-dried hair is not even once asked if she is interested or not. She shouldn’t be, because Lipstick under My Burkha is running in the next theatre.

Blow Dried Hair has her own struggles. She has a papa who disapproves her dancing. Yeah there are just too many pappas here man, don’t even ask. Though we never get to see Blow-dried Hair’s father but we must believe that he exists, like how we believe that the film has a plot and that the lead pair can act.

Blow Dried Hair falls in love with Munna Mombatti. Shit comes crashing down as Acting Institute finds out about their affair. His face becomes the Times Square of different billboards flashing such range of emotions; anger, betrayal, menace. Oh ho, short of shoving down his NSD degree our throats, Nawaz does everything to establish how upset he is.

We also switch cities from Mumbai to Delhi and back with a brochure song in Jordan. Brown Landscapes? YES! Hero wears a white shirt? YES!! Heroine wears a long red dress. HELL YESS!!!!

Oh also, there is some dance competition in the background, the judge of which, Farah Khan mouths WOWWWWW with such fake enthusiasm that Nepotism feels like a real problem. To Varun, Saif and Karan at least.

Tiger Shroff is earnest, dances well but needs to break his fixed deposit with Sabbir Khan that’s lending him no returns at all. He has done 4 films so far, 3 of which come from the same director who has depth of a saucer.

Ronit Roy hams as a Catholic father, like all Catholic characters in Hindi films. He drinks and forces an English word in a sentence to justify the cross he wears; aaiye, miliye mere SON se…tu ja apne DREAMS ko poora kar. Burp!

I feel sorry for the newcomer Nidhhi Agerwal who gets such a shabby film to start her career with.

What’s frustrating is Nawazuddin’s presence in such insipid films. It’s like directors use him to justify the mediocrity they churn out in name of movies. After Freaky Ali, Te3n and Raees, Munna Michael shows once again how we let one of the finest actors of our country down, by making him ham time and again to gain a few stupid laughs.

Dear Nawaz, you don’t need to prove you are a great actor. You just need to choose wise buddy.

After this ordeal, I want to bleach my eyes, my system with some good movies. Any suggestion guys?

Tubelight Review

Tubelight

Starring- Salman Khan, Mohammed Zeeshan Ayyub and Om Puri

Director- Kabir Khan

Rating- Read

 

Besides the theme of ‘faith moving mountains’ Tubelight is a sharp and a smart comment on present day’s twisted definition of nationalism. What’s even smarter is the way director Kabir Khan has merged the biggest superstar of the country with a character of a simpleton to put his point forward. Salman Khan plays the gullible Laxman aka Tubelight. He is like the alien in PK; innocent, not worldly and neutral enough to effectively show that screaming slogans for one’s country doesn’t make you a true blue patriot. The scene where Laxman and the little boy Guo (pun definitely intended) scream ‘Bharat Mata ki Jai’ to show their patriotism, subtly and smartly exposes how superficial this new wave of nationalism is.

 

Tubelight is largely copied from 2015 release Little Boy, where a young son’s faith brings his father back from the war. Salman Khan replaces the son whose father is replaced by a brother played by Sohail Khan and the entire story is based on how Laxman’s faith brings his brother back from the Indo-China war in 1962.

Despite a tongue in cheek dig at the country’s hottest debate, Kabir Khan makes it way too simplistic. For instance there is a typewriter placed unnecessary in the frame to shove it down our throats that it’s set in 1962.  Or the main protagonist Laxman forgets to zip up his pants, highlighting his naïve character. And then there is a string of too many songs; happy, festive and sad, highlighting every emotion in the film with neon colors.

It’s rather intriguing how Kabir Khan keeps it so subtle and yet so simplistic. Like the Chicken Song in Bajrangi Bhaijaan, that was a dig at the government’s decision of banning beef in the country, Tubelight has some clever scenes too. The scene where fake news of Chinese taking over, spread like wild fire and nobody seems to double check is written smartly. It hints at how we consume news on social media and believe all the forwards that we receive.

And despite all this the movie manipulates to evoke smiles, tears and most of all laughs. The scene where Laxman goes on an honesty spree, though contextual, seems like a forced attempt to make the film entertaining.

The film packs some heartwarming performances. My eyes welled up every time I saw Om Puri on the screen. We will miss such an honest, endearing actor. The scene where he calls Laxman different and not retarded is a reminder of how everyone is unique and should be accepted as is.

Mohammed Zeeshan Ayyub plays the obnoxious Narayan. I hated him. And I mean that only as a compliment. He mocks and ridicules Laxman, he instigates the crowd against Chinese and he nails it in every scene. He is one of the most underrated actors and I hope filmmakers wake up to his genius and use him often.

Salman keeps it very basic while playing the man child. He almost looks awkward, however there are a couple of scenes where he breaks down and you do feel Laxman’s pain.

Martin as the little kid and the Chinese actress Zhu Zhu are good too.

Writing a review for a Salman Khan film is like having an opinion on Arnab Goswami’s show. Like really? Is anyone even listening?

Minus the melodrama and manipulation, the film effectively deals with the theme of faith, love and tolerance and it means so much, especially when it comes from the most loved star in the country.

Hindi Medium Review

Hindi Medium

Director- Saket Choudhary

Starring- Irrfan Khan, Saba Qamar and Deepak Dobrial

Rating- 2

Hi I am Pia Batra, that little girl you saw in the trailer of Hindi Medium, whose school admission story forms the plot of the film. My mother Mita Batra is an always blaming, spelling shaming, and drug scaring mom. She is a bit…err…weird. Like she paints me, first with Odomos and then smears me with sunscreen. And mind you it’s winters. Sunblock in winters is like logic in Hindifilms, pointless. But all of it is imperative. These are the quirks that delude filmmakers into creating a character. My father has special traits too. He has a sari-lehnga shop that he calls a fashion studio; you know the typical middle class syndrome that we all have. And that’s the reason my mom goes from Mita/Mithu to Honey, an endearing term meant exclusively for the elite.

So before I get admitted into a school, I get admitted to different strata of the society; from a humble middle class house in Chandani Chowk to a villa in Vasant Vihar and then to a slum in Bharat Nagar. I felt like Dev Patel, Slumdog millionaire in reverse!

My parents even get in touch with an expensive consultant, who conducts classes in various subjects, including English. She is pretty and pretty anglicized. And then I heard her say ‘revert back’ that made the grammar Nazi in me commit suicide.

Our shift to the slums is just a way to get admission in our choice of school through Gareebi quota, but hey that can wait! When you are in the slums, what do you do? Tada!!! Manipulate!!Gareebi Dikhao, audience rulao!!

I sit in corner of my dilapidated house. My mother fights some serious fights over ration andpaani. There are rats and mosquitoes and dengue and chicken guinea and all kinds of poor things that are thrown in, in perfect measure till you reach out for a box of tissues. Aur toh aur, my father even starts working in a factory. I had reached a funny- kuchBhiDotCom turn of my life. So did the audiences. At this point I can’t decide if my parents are sweet or stupid. All this drama so that I can mouth a few lines in English? I wanted to devour the Oxford Dictionary or get my parents introduced to Kangana Ranaut and Kapil Sharma.

Slums are fun because we have Shyam uncle better known as Pappi ji from Tanu Weds Manu. He plays his character with such earnestness that it will win your heart. I secretly wished if he was my father, instead of Irrfan-now-with-a-double-R-Khan. He seemed more sorted and integral and tots won my heart when he hugged his son telling him he was the luckiest person ever. Sniff sniff. Actually he reminds me of my father from a decade ago. Deepak Dobrial is the new humble, poor Irrfan Khan, after all papa can’t play Billo Barber kind of roles any longer. He has done Hollywood films bhai…and even dated Deepika Padukone in a film.

But my father earns applause for putting some sense, some credibility in the climatic speech onHindi/English medium.

So between a poorly directed Hindi Medium and Arjun Kapoor’s broken English in Half Girlfriend, you really don’t have much of a choice. I feel you buddy.

Half Girlfriend Review

Half Girlfriend

Director- Mohit Sappy

Starring- Nepotism

Rating- Right at the end

Creepy Stalker flashes his creepiest smile at the Grumpy Barbie. She frowns, obviously, duh. But then it starts raining. And not falling in love at this time is a downright blasphemous insult to Indra Devta in Bollywood!! So when everyone else runs helter skelter, seeking shelter, Grumpy Barbie walks straight into the rains, looks up at the sky, as if trying to find the reason behind this rare phenomenon called precipitation or the meaning of this insipid movie. Our horny Creepy Stalker follows her around, drops his jaws and finds a reason to live in Delhi.

During a basketball game, I know how lame, Creepy Stalker asks her out for a movie. She makes it clear it’s not a date yet Creepy touches Grumpy’s hand in the movie. She instantly withdraws, but consent is an overrated term in the world of raging hormones, just like security in Bollywood India. Hence our couple dodges the guards at India Gate, goes right at the top of the monument and talks about their dreams. As they sat on the edge, I secretly hoped one of them would fall off and die. Alas no such luck and Grumpy shares her Miley Cyrus dreams of singing in a New York bar.

Cut to Humayun Tomb, Cyrus becomes Shreya and attracts all gora tourists in the country for the Central Park effect.  At the end of the song, Grumpy kisses Creepy, introduces him to her parents, feels confused and announces herself as his half girlfriend. And that’s just unfair. I mean what will Creepy write on his Facebook relationship status, right? So he invites her to his room for a bed or buddy test. He drops hints, makes moves and manhandles her for not sleeping with him. It’s not his fault. I think Pink didn’t release in Bihar. No, chuck sarcasm. Let me say it as is. Dearest Bollywood, STOP CREATING HEROES OUT OF THESE HINEOUS CHARACTERS WHO YOU PAINT AS VICTIMS. STOP ADDING TO THE RAPE CULTURE. STOP THIS CRIME ALREADY!

Creepy and Grumpy part ways. Thankfully. Creepy sulks. Arijit sings. Grumpy has a change of wardrobe. Arijit sings. Creepy runs in slowmo. Arijit sings. They part ways again. Arijit sings the same song over and over and over and over again.

Half Girlfriend is an exasperatingly asinine love story sans depth or any kind of reasoning. It glorifies stalking, manhandling, belittles grave medical conditions and girl education issue with its lame and superficial treatment. It lazily talks about small town life, class divides, language barriers, gender inequality and penury. My childhood debates were far better researched than this painfully pseudo love saga that rolls out for a painful two and a half hours.

Shradha Kapoor is a hardworking actor. She started promoting the film while shooting for it as she sashays around in her college in designer clothes, looking more like a movie star than a student.

Arjun Kapoor is a fabulous actor though. His range of emotions is unbelievable- stare, sulk and smile. And then they say nepotism is not a real problem, especially when you have a far more talented Vikrant Massey in the same frame as Creepy, as not the lead but a supporting character. Half a star only for Vikrant’s performance.

 

Naam Shabana Review

Naam Shabana

Director- Shivam Nair

Starring- Tapsee Pannu, Manoj Bajpayee, Akshay Kumar and Prithvi

Rating- Waaav, so woman centric. Err NOT!

Naam Shabana is a special film. It has two songs in a club. One of them is an item number called Baby Besharam. Because it’s high time women can be unapologetically besharam too. See how progressive, how woman centric!! That is Naam Shabana for you; a film that wants to preach that heroism is irrespective of gender and hence Shabana, a college and martial arts student is picked by an undercover Indian Intelligence agency.

It’s so woman centric, so woman centric, that they had to hire Mrs. Funny Bones’ husband to help our Shabana in the climax of the film. Ajay (Akshay Kumar) comes, reaches out to the spotlight, shifts it on himself, earns all the whistles and applause and exits like a boss.

There are two major fight sequences in the climax, one involving Shabana and the main baddie, the other involving Ajay and baddie’s right hand. There is a slight difference though. While Ajay beats his opponent blue and black, Shabana struggles against the big baddie (Prithvi) and gains victory only by a fluke. It is this difference that exposes the irony of it all. It’s understandable that women can be physically weaker than men. But you must have chosen a lady officer for a reason, right? A reason that NEVER gets explored in the film.

“Women have it in their DNA, they are born spies.” Explains Manoj Bajpayee to Shabana why she has been selected. We hence expect some shrewd spying in the offing. Some strategizing where Shabana’s strengths are revealed that justify her involvement in such a high profile case. Instead we get a montage of her rigorous training against a song that has inspiring lyrics like Aandhi, Toofan and Zinda. Waaaav, so amazing…we have never seen this before except in Mary Kom, Bhag Milkha Bhag, Brothers, Dangal, Sultan, Saala Khadoos…phew! There is hardly any convincing reason in the film why Shabana is chosen for ‘one of the most important intelligence operations.’

Some of the sequences are mind blowing. The agents from the intelligence finally pin the villain down. This is serious shit ok. Like they have been chasing him for ten years and all. They beat him, punch him, interrogate him and then finally excuse him alone because he wants to go do susu!! The villain looks into the bathroom mirror with a smug smile, thinking bewakoof saale. I started rooting for him. I was like these intelligence guys deserve it for letting ten years of chasing, down the susu drain.

You see I want to like this film. I promise I really do. But in the first five minutes into the film, they show a man taking a picture on his Blackberry. Burp!! No no I am not judging here. Hell I am. Because the man takes a high resolution, sharp, high definition picture of a man sitting 5 miles away. Yeh Blackberry hain ya Nat Geo ka 1628793 X DSLR?

Akshay Kumar in his 15 minutes appearance pulls a SRK in a Lux ad on us. We find him in a tub and choke on our popcorn. And then there is Anupam Kher in a pointless role. He has borrowed a vig from Donald Trump and colored it black. Yikes!!

Tapsee Pannu gets a couple of emotional scenes right but her straight-suppress-my-feelings-face gets too monotonous. The film makes unnecessary judgments on civilians and their choices in order to glorify the defense. Err. Not cool! The film has a few beautiful shots of Mumbai, especially the ones shot in an Iranian café, but the overall plot, the execution, the slow pace and the lazy editing make it a rather dull watch.

-Lokesh Dharmani

(This is my weekly review on Masala!)

 

Quattro- Restaurant Review

My masi was in town and I had to introduce her to some different cuisines. It usually becomes slightly tricky for lesser-leaf-eating-mortals like us. Thank God we discovered Quattro that recently opened in Bur Dubai, a popular Italian-Mexican restaurant from Mumbai that has an impressive progressive menu. Many restaurants in Dubai have fused molecular gastronomy with the Indian Cuisine, Quattro is the only restaurant (at least in my knowledge) that’s playing with the latest fad with the Italian and Mexican delicacies. It was quite a treat, I admit and far from pinching your pocket!! Check it out-

Salads

1. Melon Feta Salad– AED 46

   

   Melon Feta Salad

   They say God is in details….and sometimes in presentation as well. Quattro serves the good old Melon Feta Salad differently with marinated melons cut into perfect spheres and skewed into sheer culinary delights. The crunch of roasted pine nuts, with Balsamic pearls and Feta Cheese gave a nice twist to these mouthfuls!!

   Appetizers 

2. Formaggio Di Patate- AED 46

   

   Formaggio Di Patate

   
   You skipped reading the name of the dish, I know, hehe. Let me break this down to you. Now my trip to Italy a couple of years taught me that Italy produces a wide range of cheeses made from cow’s, sheep’s, goat’s and buffalo milk. Formaggio is fresh cheese prepared by separating the curds and whey, where curd is pressed to form cheese balls. This is what the balls looked like. Damn that sounds wrong 😉

   

   Formaggio Cheese Balls

   The dish was then mixed with some Cheese Sauce-

   

   Cheese Sauce

   And served with some Cheese ice cream. DelFriggingLicious 😉 
   

3. Taquitos. AED 47

   

   Taquitos

   Everything at Quattro comes with a fun twist. Forget the boring rolled up tortillas. At Quattro they change them into fun cones and mind you they are fried, yet gluten free, that are filled with beans, jalapenos, tomato salsa and avocado ice cream.

   Taquitos

4. Filo Parcels: AED 46

   

   Filo Parcels

   These little heavenly pastry parcels pack spiced corn and olives that serves nostalgia for free. Yes, that’s the best thing about Quattro Dubai that they have retained not only most of the delicacies from Mumbai menu but managed to retain the original flavors as well. The crispy crunchy pastry just melts into your mouth and you experience a blast of flavors while munching on spiced corn and olives.

   Main Course

   5. Fajita Pizza: AED 57
   Yes It was so good that I took the picture when I was half way through 😉

   

   Fajita Pizza

   The good thing is that Quattro keeps the main course simple. After enjoying the drama in appetizers, the main course is simple yet delicious. Fajita had a tortilla base and came with a choice of toppings; grilled spiced vegetables, jalapenos and corn, topped with yellow cheddar cheese. You have two options in sauce: spicy pizza sauce or green chilli sauce. It’s tangy and tantalizing!!

   6. Risotto Funghi: AED 59 

   

   Risotto Funghi

   Not too dry, not too liquidy, Risotto with creamy shiitake  mushrooms, oregano and parmesan, drizzled with truffle oil, was cooked just right!! One of my favorites on the menu by the way. *Slurps*

   Desserts

   7. Hazelnut Mousse, Candied Hazelnut & Popcorn: AED 59
   

   

   Hazelnut Mousse, Candied Hazelnut and Popcorn

   This sinful delight was served with Belgian chocolate ice cream, just the perfect dish to bring this beautiful culinary experience to a satiating end!!

   Quattro staff had heard me on City 1016, my radio station, and knew it was my birthday 2 days ago and were sweet enough to bring me a birthday cake!! My mom and masi don’t even take eggs in cakes and thankfully it was eggless. The chocolate Ganache Cake took the ‘chocolate’ bit way too seriously and we loved it!!

   

   Chocolate Ganache Cake

   Good taste, Friendly Staff and a Happy Vibe make Quattro quite a winner.

   Quattro is located at-
   Shop 2A, Al Rafaa C Building, Opp Aster Hospital, Kuwait Street, Mankhool, Dubai
   Call them- 04 393 1233

fByLokesh Collection

I went to Italy and bought some cool fabric that I converted into shirts and jackets. I then thought I should start my new clothing line called fByLokesh (f stands for fashion!). So here are my 6 signature pieces. If you wish to buy. send me a mail- lokesh.dharmani@gmail.com

Or send me a message on Facebook-
https://www.facebook.com/lokesh.dharmani

Or Instagram-
https://www.instagram.com/lokeshdharmani/

Here are the pieces with details-

1. Comic Print Shirt
   Medium Size
   Slim Fit
   Price- 299 AED

 

 

 

 

 

 

2. Quirky Waistcoat
Medium Size
Slim Fit
Price- 566 AED

3. Quirky Jacket
Medium Size
Slim Fit
Price- 999 AED

 

4. Comic Print Shirt
Medium Size
Slim Fit
Price- 299 AED

5. Quirky Waistcoat
Medium Size
Slim Fit
Price- 566 AED

 

6. Quirky Jacket
Medium Size
Slim Fit
Price- 999 AED

Dangal Review

Dangal

Director- Nitesh Tiwari

Cast- Aamir Khan, Sakshi Pradhan, Zarina Wasim, Suhani Bhatnagar, Fatima Sana Shaikh and Sanya Malhotra

Rating- 4 stars

It’s not important to tell you that I am feeling emotional, ecstatic and overwhelmed after watching Dangal because it takes away from the film. But it’s imperative anyway to tell this because Dangal is an experience that made me smile, laugh, cry and left me all shaken and inspired.

Dangal works on multiple levels. Besides being one of the best sports films, it’s a story of a stubborn father, fighting the world and even his daughters for a long awaited international glory. Most importantly it’s a fabulous comment on parenthood that left me to tears. And all these layers in the film are equally convincing and engaging.

The strength of Dangal (and sometimes its weakness too) lies in its narrative and characters, that despite being progressive are deeply rooted in patriarchy. They say ‘hamari choriyan choro se kam hain kya’; a statement that reeks of misogyny but we know Mahavir better than that. He loves his daughters, believes in equality and despite being pushy in his ways, seeks his wife’s permission to grant him a year so that he can train his daughters.

But Mahavir has his flaws too. Besides equality, he roots for his daughters for selfish reasons. He wants to fulfill a long cherished dream of an international victory that eluded him. He fights stereotypes, rules and repression and pushes his daughters to breaking point. I cried a river as he ruthlessly cut his daughters’ hair and deprives them of a normal childhood. In fact once he himself admits that he is a bawra baap. It then becomes such a realistic commentary on parenting. Pushy parents in name of ‘bachcho ki bhalai’ put unrealistic pressure on kids that sometimes make them, often break them.

But before Mahavir knows, Geeta has already grown wings, shaken hands with new friends, a new coach and a newer tempting world. There is a beautiful emotional fight scene between Mahavir and his daughter Geeta, just before she takes charge of her life. The film at this point soars and becomes a riveting father daughter film, hinting, how as parents, we should let our kids go, let them make their own decisions, their own mistakes and let them learn from them. And when they come back with new experiences and perspectives, broken, bruised and battered, we must take them back, because family is usually that one secure place where you are accepted with your flaws and follies. The scene where Geeta sobs on the phone left me much embarrassed as I howled in a theater full of people.

Dangal is also one of the finest sports films. The writers first educate you on a few wrestling tricks and use them rather deftly at strategic points, involving everyone, even the wrestling novices. The fight scenes are beautifully choreographed. In fact during one of the crucial matches in the climax, people in the row ahead of me sat up stiff and straight. I saw silhouettes of heads collectively rising in anticipation and sighing in relief as the crisis gets resolved on the screen.

The performances are class apart. Aamir’s dedication to the movie to get the body and soul of Mahavir, living his imperfections so perfectly leaves you overwhelmed. But the real finds are the new girls, all four of them. Zarina Wasim and Suhani Bhatnagar as young Geeta and Babita bring in the right amount of nice and naughty to their characters. Fatima and Sanya as adult Geeta and Babita get the body, the language and the body language of wrestlers so brilliantly that you wonder if they are actors or real life wrestlers.

There are so many little things that work for the movie; the role reversal of a brother cooking for his wrestler-sisters and never coming across as pansy, the humble abode of the wrestler, the beautiful detailing of wrestlers’ broken ears or the supporting cast; Sakshi Tanwar, Ritwik Sahore (the young Omkar, oh how much I loved him and even felt bad for him), Vivan Shah and an endearing debut by Aparshakti Khurana!! The dialogues of the film are also cleverly written. The coach advises the young male opponent, “chori hain, samajh ke ladiyo”. The girl replies, “bas chori samajh ke na ladiyo.”

To wrap up, Dangal outdoes Chak De India, only because it’s based on a real story. A ‘poor’ father in Haryana (that has the worst men-women ration in India) resolves to train his ‘daughters’ in a patriarchal society fighting all odds is indeed inspiring. What’s even more beautiful is the film’s treatment. Not even once it melodramatizes Mahavir’s poverty or his struggles. Its subtle treatment makes Dangal a must watch. So please watch!!

This is my weekly review on Masala! http://www.masala.com

Ae Dil Hain Mushkil Review

Ae Dil Hain Mushkil

Director- Karan Johar

Starring- Rich Gorgeous People

Rating- One time easy breezy watch. Don’t expect any life love lessons.

Nano Review- Bratty and Bubbly are best buddies. Bratty loves Bubbly. But Bubbly loves the Beyond-Borders-Bearded-Boy. Then Bratty falls in love with the Bold and Beautiful Bachchan. And amid this quadrangle of Bratty, Bubbly, Bearded and Beautiful, we get three hours of heartbreak, unrequited love and a free trip to London, Paris and Vienna.

Karan Johar movies are interesting because the reasons you like these movies for, are the same reasons you have a problem with.  Today’s review is a listicle of the same.

1. Writing– Karan Johar has quite a knack for dealing in relationships. His writing is mature, mostly honest, humorous and rarely offensive. There are some scenes that simply stand out. Two best buddies cuddled under a rug, discussing attraction, egos and a possibility of a relationship is such a rarity in Hindi films. Karan Johar is also the master of writing ‘thrilling’ dining table conversations. Remember SRK’s poker faced “Sense of humor, Mr. Talvar” in Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna or (Shakun Batra’s confrontation scene in Ek Main Aur Ek Tu)? In Ae Dil Hain Mushkil Bratty, Bubbly and Beautiful have dinner together. The writing is sharp enough to create each of their characters and give them insights into the dynamics of their relationships.However the scenes where Bratty and Bubbly bond are fun initially but become highly superficial with too many forced Bollywood references and spoofs. Honest conversations coexist with drinking and dancing sessions that rarely lend any depth to their relationship. The singing at the Parisian bars and the RD Burman songs mash up sequence add unnecessary length to the movie.

   And of course there is a typical K Jo Red Wine joke (remember Student of The Year’s Washing Machine Tip) done rather funnily here and his typical “heard such good things about you, hope all good things” (KANK) is also done differently in ADHM.

2. Characterization– Despite K Jo’s characters pooping on diamond studded commodes are deep rooted into realism. Both Bratty and Bubbly speak our language and share genuine fears and insecurities but are so alienated from the rigors of reality. There are no errands to run, bills to pay and always enough money around to switch cities at a blink of an eye on a private jet plane and we have no clue where the goddamn money is coming from. I want to meet Bratty’s rich parents. And be adopted by them.Alizeh is all heart, emotionally mature, effervescent and sticks to her instincts right till the end. Ayan is a demanding brat. The film almost justifies his chauvinism, his meanness in garb of a broken heart. He shows his middle finger to his lady love on her wedding and insults her again in front of his rebound and nobody seems to have a problem with that. I understand people like him do exist but to celebrate them as heroes is wrong. JUST SO WRONG!!

   Also the characters in Ae Dil Hain Mushkil are mostly one-dimensional. We see them only through the context of love and friendship. The lack of a Farida Jalal or a Kirron Kher and hence no new perspective to the leading pair make them rather flat than rounded.

3. Performances– Brilliant. Ranbir and Anushka lend such credibility to their characters. Even when the lines are contrived and are meant only to cajole a few laughs, both the actors save the scenes. Anushka is such a natural. The scene where she breaks down in the hotel or when she explains her love to Ranbir towards the end, show what an incredibly talented actor she is. Ranbir breaks down too. Many times. And is brilliant every time. Ayan in Ae Dil Hain Mushkil is a heady concoction of Ranbir’s previous roles; childlike vulnerability of Wake Up Sid, cocky, selfish confidence of Bunny in Yeh Jawani Hain Deewani and longing and angst of Jordan in Rockstar. Ranbir’s repeated roles are like stale dry fruits ke dabbe that get recycled every year on Diwali. He is good but should soon shock us with a different role in his upcoming films.

   Fawad Khan is almost wasted in the movie. The man has two and a half scenes and monosyllables as dialogues.
   Lisa Hayden is much fun, despite landing a caricature of a character. (Writers must take a cue from Kalki’s character in Happy Ending, written and enacted so well, without ever making it look comical.)

   Aishwarya plays a poetess who stays in an Ikea or a Crate & Barrel showroom. She gasps and gushes and spews Urdu with much effort. “Rishton ki geeli zameen par log aksar phisal jaate hain…” she philosophizes through a pair of distracting red hot lips…and you are like…whaaaaa? Calm the Ghalib down bro and say that again please!! In fact in a scene of much Urdu tongue twisters of lafz, ishq, rishton, gehraayee, haar, baazi, jeet, maat, kashish, mohtaaz…oh what a farce…Bratty questions “aap log yeh ghar se ratt ke aate ho kya?” and I burst out laughing. Full points on self deprecatory humor.

   Also the gyaan on the power of one sided love by a superstar special appearance is just forced with no consequence on Ayan or on the film.

   On a side note, Ayan is dating a rather hot Lisa in the beginning, but she ain’t Sufiana yaar. He then meets Alizeh who is all Sufiana and uses words like Khuda, Khair and Khan all from the epiglottis but alas she is too much of a bro…she ain’t showing much skin. Kavita hain par cleavage nahi. Ayan then meets Saba, an alluring poetess who is a red lipped Mirza Ghalib, a love child of Lisa and Alizeh. But is that enough for Ayan? Watch it to find out. It’s a one time, easy breezy, non offensive and a rather too long film on love, life and friend zoning!!

   This is my weekly review on Masala. Here- http://www.masala.com/movie-review-ae-dil-hai-mushkil-226842.html

Shivaay Review

Shivaay

Director- Ajay Devgn

Starring- Ajay Devgn

Audience- Ajay Devgn

Rating- Let’s go watch Ae Dil Hain Mushkil instead!

 

OMG. Shivaay has achieved that feat that no Hindi film has ever achieved so far. Sheer mind bending stuff. I am totally blown away. Shivaay managed cast an female actor who speaks with an accent and her name is not Katrina Kaif. Wow!! She is not even Nargis Fakri. Or Lisa Haydon. She is Erika Kaar, a Polish actress (playing a Bulgarian girl) who can speak better Hindi than all of the three above. And you will be pleased to know Bulgarians also have ‘boodi ma’ ‘jawan behan ki shadi’ problems. Ha! In exact same words. Ha! Ha!

 

The most amazing thing about Shivaay is its breathtaking shots of snow-capped mountains. Aseem Bajaj’s camera creates quite a grand scale and it indeed is spectacular.

But the mountains have no context. The film could have been in the desert, plains or plateau, it wouldn’t matter. Because you see the place is immaterial. The hero is. I kid you not; one of the characters even calls Shivaay a superhero. So our hero is Superman sans chaddi, cape or cerebral. Giggly girls call him hot and sexy and we believe it because it’s said in an accent.

He runs behind a zooming van so fast that Usain Bolt is taking furious notes.

He jumps from one building to another so effortlessly that Shaktimaan is twirling in anger and insecurity.

And he defies gravity so easily that Newton is shredding his theories into bits.

And we must believe all this because Sukhwinder Singh croons “Har Har Mahadev” in the background and anything sounds inspiring and convincing with lyrics like ‘Jai Jai Kailash, Ja Kar Vinaash’. Ooooo so inspiring.

It’s interesting how Ajay Devgn has thrown Singham Shetty director out of his job. He must be thinking, ‘100 crores anyway is all about cars flying in flames, so why not me, after all I am the son of India’s best action choreographer. Chalo kholo director ki dukaan!!’

Our Shivaay is as deluded as his director. He screams at his lady love, for, err, getting pregnant with his child(?), emotionally blackmails her to keep the baby and then says he is not forcing her to change her decision. Dude you just tried every trick in the book to dissuade her. There is another scene where he is accused of being a criminal and he shouts he hasn’t killed anyone. Wait, you just threw a taxi driver out of his taxi, shot a few policemen dead and a crashed half a dozen cars in the whole process and you claim innocent? Yeah that makes sense. After all those are not people, they are extras, they don’t matter.

Like how logic doesn’t matter in such films. Our Shivaay is convicted of human trafficking. The Bulgarian Police don’t believe him. And this is after he had rescued a young boy from a pedophile and handed over to the same police.

But I feel bad for Ajay Devgn. Last time he was seen on a foreign land, he was chasing his wife’s boyfriend (read Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam). This time around, the search is for his daughter’s mother!!

So we wonder what the point is behind Shivaay? Shopping!! You see Kajol shot Dilwale in Bulgaria. It was back to back days on the sets, hence no time for recreation. Considerate husband decided to shoot a film there so that the wife could chill and explore the city!!