Hawaaizaade Pictorial Review

Hawaizaada is a special film about a bespectacled boy (Shivy) who is a lust child of Frieda (peanuts) who conceived him when she had a three some with Harry Potter and Rohit of Koi Mil Gaya while watching Ranbir Kapoor’s Barfi.

He has flunked eight times in fourth standard. It’s a wonder how the school hasn’t yet thrown him out. He believes in blowing his own trumpet so he carries one, yes, even to school. And that I promise is less appalling than those short, those really awfully short no no like realllllly short shorts that cost the producer two buckets of wax and Sherlyn Chopra a heart attack!!

He is a maverick. He talks about freedom, insists the society should free itself of regressive thinking, that his mother should free herself of fear of her husband and his father of that ugly wig!!

Abandoned by the father he finds family in an old fart but the ugly wigs still continue to haunt him.

The old fart wants to teach him how to make an airplane but that can wait because our Shivy has recently ‘nursed a semi’ as he sets his hungry eyes on Slutty-Savitri-Sitara.

The lady in question has some special quirks. Like she is either too seductive or too sexy or just too angry. She has some weird tastes in life. She doesn’t have a bed in her room but a bath tub and some err candles. She gives intense looks which doubles up as her audition for Vikram Bhatt before he casts for Raaz 98 or 1920 the evil RETURNS YET YET YET YET YET again!!

Shivy woos slutty savitri in full Yo Yo Honey Singh style.  She gets all crept up and runs away.

It’s not her fault. Shivy woos her in broken Marathi and in third person- ‘marry him, marry him, marry him.’ “Him whoooo??” She wonders. It’s concluded the bespectacled boy is hallucinating and she runs away. In her lady love’s absence, Shivy becomes sad. Like full intense.

 He even gets kinky and dips in her bath tub.

And then he finds true love.

It is then that the old fart reveals his feelings for the bespectacled boy. And I am not even making this up, he says and I quote- ‘There are many ways in which I need you.’

And since it’s a pre-independence film, there are some goras thrown in for effect.

And some goras in an Indian attire for more effect. (look at the right of the pic!) I kid you not, he speaks in shudh Hindi in the movie. 

The bespectacled boy and old fart work together on their first airplane project with an important apparatus of flasks, bottles, jars, birds, cages, candlesticks, upholstered chairs and all those things found in a Sanjay Leela Bhansali film but have no connection with an airplane.

They almost get successful. And it’s at such a crucial time when the old fart experiences an Anjali-in-Kuch-Kuch-Hota-Hain moment!

And just when the old fart is about to break into a ‘Saajan ji Ghar aaye..’ the slutty savirti comes back.

The bespectacled boy has his priorities in place.

The bespectacled boy is clueless about making the airplane. He has many failed attempts before he cracks it.

In the end there are a few conclusions like-

 

Per Te- A little bit of Italy in Jumeirah

Have you ever been to The Yoga House in Bandra or Jamjar on Yari Road in Mumbai? Or their swankier version in Delhi- the Indian Accent in The Manor Hotel in New Friends Colony? These quaint restaurants tucked in a part of a villa??!! The one that will have a wild bougainvillea creeping up and down the restaurant’s wall, the French windows of the eatery opening to sometimes busy, sometimes dreamy world outside? Yeah THAT! I have been looking for one such restaurant in Dubai for long. I have dined at fancy ass restaurants in fancier ass hotels, bought stuff from ‘a hole in a wall’ restaurants but nothing came close really. Until I discovered Per Te, a cozy restaurant tucked in a villa in Jumeirah 1. It’s situated at a safe distance from Jumeirah Road, right opposite Jumeirah Plaza. (And If I say Jumeirah one more time, I will die! Hehehe!) When I first reached there, I saw the restaurant had French windows that opened to the two sides of the corner villa. That ensures enough light, enough air and enough dekko into the outside world of fancy cars zipping up and down the street. My friends and I grabbed a table and chattered away. Seconds melted into minutes and minutes into hours and before we knew the clock had almost struck midnight. The starters looked pretty appetizing. There was Caprese con mozzarella di buffalo (Buffalo mozzarella cheese with vine tomatoes, extra virgin oil and basil leaves) and Bruschetta al pomodoro e basilica (The famous Italian grilled Ciabatta vine tomato fresh basil and wild rocket leaves!! I particularly liked how the bread was gently rubbed with garlic though I wish it was just a shade softer.) By the way Per Te sprawls over two floors of the villa. There are two massive dining areas on the ground floor. The two areas are divided by a stair case that runs to the first floor and another dining area that leads to their open terrace. The furniture on the terrace stood in sharp contrast to the feel of the entire restaurant. It had hemispherical round black, white and red chairs and a very casual vibe to it; a perfect setting during wintry Dubai to slump into one of the chairs and curl up with a book or two!! Being a vegetarian, there were enough and more options for me. (Ahh!! Thank small mercies for that!!) I had two vegetarian options in soups; traditional Italian minestrone and Zuppa di fungi and I chose the latter. Big mistake. Not because it was bad but because the main course I ordered for was Risotto ai funghi selvatici. Both my soup and risotto had mushroom and truffle that by the end of it I was oozing mushrooms from my ears! Hehehe. You could choose their Pumpkin and Zucchini risotto which I hear is as good!! Also Per Te treats you with a wide range of wood fired pizzas as well!

The treat ended with Il Bianco, the white- a special dessert with vanilla, cream, and lychee. When the waiter told me it had lychee flavor, I chose it over Tiramisu. Alas they had only topped the dish with one lychee where I was expecting that lychee would be an integral part of the dessert!! Overall I loved the experience. It’s like going to an Italian friend’s fancy villa and be treated like royalty! Try it with friends. You will make lasting memories. Per Te is per te. It does stand for what it means- For YOU!! Be ready to shell out close to 400 dhms for two people. Here’s my final word- 

Cooking Kaale Chane in Loki’s kitchen today!!

A very simple recipe of homemade kaale chane that tastes so baazari!! I almost drooled all over my laptop at the end of this sentence.

I know it sounds really immodest but kaale chane in Loki’s kitchen turned out really well. Last time when I shared the recipe to Pindi Chole, I had mixed all onions, garlic and all the masalas in chole and poured piping, smoking hot oil on it. This time I tried doing it slightly different with constant instructions from mom coming from the bedroom- ‘haan ab mirch daal de…arey pakne toh de…badi jaldi rehti hain tujhe!!’

Ingredients and portions for two people-
a) One bowl of kaale chane
b) One big onion
c) Two big tomatoes
d) One big green chilly
e) Salt like swad anusaar and all that!!
f) Chili powder- red and black pepper
g) Coriander powder
h) Anardana powder (Al Adil has it!!)
i) Tamarind syrup. (Soak tamarind in water, run it in the microwave for 30 seconds. Mash tamarind into water. Separate the seeds and lo the syrup is ready.)
j) Fresh coriander.

Method-
1. Boil over night soaked kaale chane with chopped onions.
2. Run two red juicy tomatoes in a grinder.
3. Heat oil in the pan. Add cumin seeds (zeera) and let them turn crispy brown.
4. Add finely chopped green chilies.
5. Add red chili powder, dried coriander, a pinch of black chili powder and half a table spoon of anardana (pomegranate) powder. It will turn into a thick dark brown paste.
6. Mix all the masalas well and then add tomatoes and mix them all well.
7. Add salt to taste.
8. Let it simmer till water dries up and oil starts to appear on the sides and top of the dish. (Ask your mom about it, she will explain it better!) And trust me it requires a lot of patience. My mother almost screamed at me when I tried hurrying it all up. Teehee.
9. Drain water from boiled kaale chane and throw them in the pan and mix with tomatoes and masalas.
10. Add tamarind syrup to it. Like copious amounts of tamarind syrup. No no, like a little more. Kaale chane tastes best when tangy!! Let it all simmer for another five minutes. Add a bit of water if need be.
11. Garnish it with farm fresh (I love saying farm fresh, hehe) coriander leaves and serve it with love!!! Love shove is all ok. Serve it with pooris!!

12. Please forget to switch on and off the burner!! Hehe.

P.S- my mom is very stringent with compliments. She won’t say it till she feels it. After lunch she says, ‘Dilli ke chole bhature waale chole yaad aa gaye.” (My Kaale Chane reminded her of delicious chole of Delhi’s famous chole bhature vendors!) That’s when I thought I should brag, oops, I mean blog about it!!

Baby- Movie Review

Baby
Director- Neeraj Pandey
Starring- Akshay Kumar, Anupam Kher, Sushant Singh, Kay Kay Menon, Madhurima, Tapsee, Rana Daggubati, Rasheed Naz and Mikal Zulfiqar
Rating- 3.5

The last time Akshay Kumar and baby came together in the title of a film, spellings in Oxford dictionary (Heyyyy Babyyyyyyy) and fashion in Vidya Balan’s closet committed suicide, Fardeen Khan scored with girls and caused Hugh Hefner a major complex and India made giant leaps in its nuclear policy as we conceived ideas to create weapons of mass destruction (Humshakkals and Himmatwala).
Baby thankfully doesn’t tread such dangerous territories. Instead it talks about an undercover group that nips terrorism in the bud before it could surface on bharat mata ki zameen.
Feroz Ali Khan (Danny Denzongpa) heads the covert group Baby with his handpicked team; Ajay (Akshay-now-available-in-a-nakli-mooch-Kumar), Shukla (Anupam-frumpy-hair-and-grumpy-mood-Kher) and Jai (Rana-I-have-a-two-second-longer-role-in-Baby-than-in-Yeh-Jawani-Hain-Deewani-Daggubati). The men are chasing a terrorist called Bilal Khan (Kay Kay Menon) which lands them free business class air tickets and a holiday in Turkey, Nepal and the Middle East.
By Bollywood standards, Baby is a fabulous film. But by Neeraj Pandey’s standards, I was left a bit unimpressed. For instance the action sequences in the film. Thankfully there are no matrix shots with 50 cameras capturing a shirtless hero in slow mo as he kicks and flings 20 hulks up in the air all at the same time. But the one on one realistic fight scenes of the hero and terrorist cause much mayhem on the busy streets of Turkey and Nepal and yet no one raises any suspicion on the group especially when it’s so clandestine in nature. Also a terrorist is injected time and again in various parts of his body and he falls unconscious before you can count till three. Or the climax of the film. An officer in a certain region in the Middle East has a change of heart and lets three Indians smuggle out the most sought after terrorist in the world. Un-Frigging-Convincing especially when we know this region’s role in funding some radical extremist organizations.
However Baby does break a lot of stereotypes. Like Sunny Leone and terrorism are used in the same breath. Like the hero of the film takes off his shirt and his photoshopped abs don’t glisten in sweat. Like Akshay Kumar can act. In fact he convincingly mouths some mera bharat mahan dialogues too, “hum religion ke column main INDIAN likhte hain.” Cheeky you say? Really? Like reaaaalllly?? Let me remind you his last famous dialogue -Don’t-ANGGGRYYYYY- MEEE, the grammatical brilliance of which made Shakespeare do a tandav in his grave and Chetan Bhagat worthy of Booker.
Besides brilliantly executed high octane action, Baby also scores in writing. The humor is subtle and yet effective. It brings out the apathy of our government officials. Feroz Ali Khan gets in touch with an assistant to fix a meeting with a cabinet minister. “Sir toh bahut busy hain. Nahi mil sakte” comes the usual reply to which Feroz says, “Theek hain, bomb blast hone ke baad meeting kar lenge.”
Baby also by far is Akshay Kumar’s best performance. All thanks to director Neeraj Pandey. He maintains an unsmiling face throughout the film and looks convincing as an undercover agent. His body language, his gait, even his fake moustache, all add to his brilliant performance. The supporting actors; Kay Kay Menon, Madhurima, Tapsee Pannu, Anupam Kher, Sushant Singh and the Pakistani actors; Rasheed Naz and Mikal Zulfiqar are as effective.
My only grouch with the movie is that it gets manipulative by inserting moments of crisis that not only lengthen the film but also make the smuggling of the terrorist through the Middle Eastern bureaucracy a tad unreal and unbelievable. Baby doesn’t echo the voice of masses as it did in A Wednesday. It doesn’t even spring a –I-didn’t-expect-that-climatic surprise as it did in Special 26. It simply documents the heroic deeds of espionage in a linear, clean, simple narrative.
I will end it with a special note to the director Neeraj Pandey-
Dear Sir
Greetings from the desert, hola!
I polished popcorn and two cans of cola!!
I give you no bull,
My bladder was full.
Your film was so taut; I couldn’t go and pee,
Didn’t want to miss even a single second of Baby!!

5- Must Watch.
4- Worth a Watch.
3- Can Watch.
2- Umm..yeah Watch it.
1-  Don’t Watch.

This is my weekly review for Masala!

Loooterrriiii Dulhaaaannnn…Dolly ki Doli review!

Dolly Ki Doli

Director- Abhishek Dogra

Stars- Sonam Kapoor, Rajkumar Rao, Varun Sharma, Pulkit Samrat

Rating- 2.5 stars

Dolly ki Doli fairly entertains in the first half but like most Hindi films suffers from an extremely underwhelming second half that it made Kiran-Kejriwal battle in Delhi look far more entertaining. Let’s dissect the first half which is like the trailer of the film on a loop.

There are two ways of looking at the first half.

First, I-have-left-my-brains-behind-way.

Second, I-am-so-pseudo-intellectual-that-I-will-even-intellectualize-a-film-like-Saajan-Chale-Sasural-way.

Dolly Ki Doli is a film about a plundering bride (wow a con woman, how maverick!). She even has a fake family to con potential grooms. (Amazing yaar, the writers have really thought it through!!) But she never gets consumed (or even kissed) by any man she gets married to. (Bhartiya naari zindabaad!)

Now let’s just screw it intellectually. Dolly Ki Doli is about a plundering bride, who loots potential grooms, even gets married to them in a grand wedding but funnily never gets captured on anyone’s camera. Dude we are a smart phone generation, who even documents the ‘color’ of ‘water’ in a restaurant.  To show no one taking pictures of a gorgeous bride like Dolly is a plot loophole that will make Karishma Tanna Upen Patel love affair on Bigg Boss Oscar worthy. Dolly gets married to a bunch of men yet never gets consumed. (You see there is a thin line between Sati Savitri and Slutty Savitri and we prefer our heroines to be the former!) As long as they are not kissing, they can do anything; con innocent people, break their hearts, even loot them bankrupt and we will all find it all ‘ hahaha so funny.’ But the moment they kiss, Sati becomes Slutty and Savitri ain’t fun anymore!!

Despite these gaping holes and stereotypes, the first half of the movie is well paced, fun and even funny. It’s the second half when the writers start justifying the bad ass Dolly that it all becomes so boring. She became a con woman because her boyfriend dumped her. Awww that’s so sad!! And SO FRIGGING DUMB!! It reminded me of ‘My husband made me a prostitute’ video. It really is as simple in our country.

Drunk husbands=Coma=Whore-wives. Cheating Boyfriends=Looteri Dulhan.

Despite a disappointing second half, the movie packs a corker of performances especially by Archana Puran Singh and Varun Sharma.

Varun-bhai-baat-maan-le-bhai– Sharma plays Manoj Singh Chadhdha, a typical Delhi boy, high on hormones and low on logic. Though he is repeating his Fukrey Choocha act yet he gets every nuance of a horny uncouth boy to a T. Archana Puran Singh does a stellar job of playing Manoj’s Punjabi mother. Her expressions, her dialogue delivery, even her slight overacting is a major source of fun and laughter in the movie.

Rajkumar-bahut-ho-gaya-serious-cinema-Rao plays the estranged lover who looks genuinely hurt and endearingly Haryanvi. It’s the Haryanvi accent that differentiates a fabulous actor like Rajkumar from an absolute amateur like Pulkit-wannabe-Salman-Khan-Samrat.

Sonam-like-you-know-what-I-mean- Kapoor plays the titular role. She continues to showcase her awesome talent of flashing that radiant smile, those gorgeous clothes and mouthing ‘tu kya hain…tu chup kar…’ dialogues that are hardly felt. I will take this moment to remind her of one of her quotes- “Loud acting is considered like…bol diya yaar, maine kar diya yaar…this is not acting, hello.” Yeah Sonam, copy THAT! If you know what I mean!!

Dolly Ki Doli could have been spunkier, funkier and all things better. Watch it only for Rajkumar, Varun Sharma and Archana Puran Singh.

5- Must Watch.
4- Worth a Watch.
3- Can Watch.
2- Umm..yeah Watch it.
1- Don’t Watch.

This is my weekly review for Masala!

http://www.masala.com/first-movie-review-dolly-ki-doli-188212.html?page=2

Alone. Movie review!

Alone

Starring- Karan Singh Grover, Bipasha Basu

Director- Bhushan Patel

Rating- 2.5 stars

Ram Gopal Verma just had a makeover. Long haired, smooth skinned, he is now available with a pair of big, bulging (control your emotions) eyes! If there is one person who can dethrone Ramsay Brothers or Ram Gopal Verma from their monopoly on the horror genre, it’s Bipasha-Raaz-Creature-Alone-Basu. I sometimes wonder how flattering filmmakers must sound while offering her a role in a horror film- “Madam chudail ka role hain, aapko suit karega?”

My heart goes out to a certain Mohit in the film who single handedly manages Kabir’s (Karan Singh Grover) business as the latter holidays in the backwaters in the name of nursing an ailing mother in law. Kabir even dodges his clients and continues his erotic vacation with his wife (Bipasha) in Kerela. It is because of this unprofessionalism that Modi’s ache din seems such a far cry. Hmph.

Alone is a triangle love story between twin sisters and a massive jar of protein shake. Arey this is Sheesha part 2 where Neha Dhupia is replaced by Basu and Sonu Sood’s 6 pack abs are replaced by Karan’s 66!

Kabir and Sanjana is a married couple. Sanjana is a doting (bordering nagging) wife while Kabir is part disinterested, part irresponsible as a husband.

Busy on wife’s birthday? Ticked!
Doesn’t know he is a father to be? Ticked!
Mother in law issues? Hell ticked in bold.
But most of all he is a moron of a man who at the end of the film realizes that he has married the wrong twin! Whoopsydaisies! And it’s not even a fake designer bag; it’s the delivery of a wrong wife. Actually on second thoughts the former would be a bigger blow!

The film has everything that a typical horror film must have. For instance dialogues. Anjana (the dead sister) spooks the little Mickey out of her sister Sanjana. She tells her husband helplessly- ‘woh hain Kabir, woh hain, main use mehsoos kar sakti hoon.’ Only if Bipasha Basu could ‘mehsoos’ as much while mouthing those dialogues. In another scene a worried doctor suggests- ‘inhe aap yaha se door le jaiye, inhe khuli hawa ki zaroorat hain’ which is Hindi films equivalent of please insert a love song in a foreign location and in designer clothes.

Bipasha Basu has mastered the genre. Most of her scenes are shot at night and on her bed. Hence she delivers a fabulous performance of displaying an amazing collection of lacy, satin negligee.

Karan Singh Grover is a gifted actor. Every muscle in his body acts, LITERALLY! His biceps and abs have far more expressions than his face.  Jokes aside, the man has a great screen presence. Both Bips and Karan together will make such perfect hosts of sauna belts and abs crunchers!

And then there was Sulabha-Kanta-Ben-Arya. She is the best actor in the movie. She widens her eyes, flutters her eye lashes and looks genuinely spooked. Oh what a treat to watch her again.

Indian filmmakers are extremely hard working. It’s indeed painstaking to be up all night, sift through DVDs and watch Russian, Korean, Hollywood and even Thai films back to back to finally cut, copy, paste one of them. Phew, too much work I say! Bhushan Patel is such a dedicated director that he hasn’t even changed the title of the Thai film (Alone) he sets out to plagiarize.

Despite everything, Alone is not entirely a bad film. It has an interesting plot of conjoined twins falling for the same man, maintains a decent pace and manages to scare you briefly with Amar Mohile’s effective background score.

Watch it with friends. Alone is best enjoyed in a group but alone.

What ratings mean-

5- Must Watch.
4- Worth a Watch.
3- Can Watch.
2- Umm..yeah Watch it.
1- Don’t Watch.

This is my weekly review in Masala!

starDUST awards!!

The songs in 2014 broke paths, set new records and redefined my childhood. A for apple became so last season. In 2014 we had a new trend- ‘A se aao na aao, B se bhav na khao, C se chilla ke Gaao, D se daaru peete jao.’ And it took a mohallah of musicians to come up with such brilliance- Pritam, Mithoon, Anupam, Amod, Honey Singh, Arko, Pravo Mukherjee are the musical minds behind the soundtrack of Yaariyaan, the movie that won the best music at a certain no-Star-so-much-Dust awards. It was then that I understood the magnanimity of these award functions that had a very simple funda-

“If you attend our awards, you will get one award.”

P.S- Offer not applicable for Tushar Kapoor. Bah!!!!

So the best actress went to Priyanka Chopra.

And the best actress went to Rani Mukherjee.

And the best actress went to Sonam Kapoor.

How the fuck is that possible you ask?

Simple they win best actress in different categories.

Priyanka (Drama), Rani (Thriller) and Sonam Kapoor (Comedy). Coz let’s admit it’s only unfair to expect a ‘good’ actor to be able to do them all, drama, thriller and comedy. It’s like expecting a ‘good’ student to top in Science, Mathematics and English. Not fair dude.

Next year they have a bigger plan where they will coin even more creative categories like Best Actress (Smiling) in Salwar Kameez with a pink dupatta shot in Sector 15, Noida, UP. Nisha Kothari and Antara Mali, be ready to receive an award next year.  Modi ji ne kaha tha na, ache din aane wale hain!! 

After they had given one trophy each to all the Priyankas, Ranis, Jacquelines and Sonams of the world, someone spotted Deepika Padukone. Panic rippled through the evening. ‘OMG we don’t have an award neither a category for her. She is even performing. Damn. Do SOMETHING. FAST!’

Eureka!! Some smarty pants came up with a -you-won’t-believe-category for her- Star of the year Female!! That should have ideally gone to Aalia Bhatt for three back to back hits she gave in 2014 with a power packed performance in Highway. But she walked away with (don’t laugh) the Superstar of Tomorrow Award. So this is interesting. You work hard TODAY. You give back to back hits NOW. But the star of the YEAR goes to someone else. You will be recognized only TOMORROW! Please wait haan, we have many more important asses to lick.

I say why bother!? Why pretend? Let’s make everyone happy with some creative categories of awards.

The-Face-of-the-Year-That’s-Not-Allowed-In-Wankhade-and-Sells-His-Movies -By-Hugging-A-Rival-Khan-Award!!

The-Bhai-Who-Churns-Multiple-Crores-By-Doing-What-He-Does-The-Best- Like-Appear-On-The-Big-Screen-Award!

The Star Who Does Sensible Cinema…Ok Let’s not waste time here. Aamir Khan will never attend our awards!!

I had a mini heart attack when Stardust nonchalantly used Sonu Sood, Kay Kay Menon and Nawazuddin Siddique in the same breath as they announced nominations for the best actor in a villainous role. Our family doctor was on speed dial as they announced the results.

My jaws kissed the floor when I heard a certain Sana Khan and Breakthrough in the same sentence. She was nominated for her quote unquote breakthrough performance in Jai Ho. I want to leave the planet NOW!

Arjun broods, Manoj so lewd…what a bore this Tevar dude!!

Tevar

Director- Amit Sharma

Actors- Arjun Kapoor, Sonakshi Sinha, Manoj Bajpayee and Rajesh Sharma

Rating- 2 stars

Recently when I met Arjun Kapoor during the promotions of Tevar, I asked him what the most meaningful dialogue in the film is. He said and I quote- “Kabaddi, kabaddi, kabaddi, kiski todu gardan, kiski todu haddi?” It was then that I understood the real meaning of facepalm.

Tevar is an unusual love story between Moochi Man (Manoj Bajpai), Ditsy Dame (Sonakshi Sinha) and Pintu Boy (Yep that’s his name in the film- Arjun Kapoor). Unusual because characters in this film fall in love for some very strange reasons. For instance, Moochi Man falls in love with ditsy dame because she is dancing. Ditsy Dame falls in love with Pintu boy because he is fighting and Pintu Boy falls in love with Ditsy Dame because the film is getting too long. Trust me the’ I love you’ moment happens only at the climax of the film.

It’s a maverick love story on the run where Pintu saves Ditsy in Mathura. He dodges naked swords of Moochi and his men, ducks from police men’s bullets, jumps off buildings, races and crashes his car to finally and safely bring Ditsy home in Agra. And guess what!? Ditsy doesn’t say sorry or thank you but complains how she has forgotten her US visa papers back in Mathura. Errr what?? Yes Ditsy has Mathura-to-Manhattan dreams so that she can be away from Moochi.  So you see the action conveniently keeps shifting from Agra to Mathura and back like a convenient trip to Lulu centre every weekend. And mind you they make sure we know we are in Agra because every shot in the city has The Taj Mahal in the background. So no matter the shot is set in a garden or on the terrace the monument looms large. Short of putting Taj Mahal posters in the kitchen and bathroom, it’s omnipresent like it wasn’t just a monument but Burj Khalifa visible even from Sharjah.

However Laxman Utekar has done a brilliant job of capturing both the cities beautifully in his lens. The production design by Aparna Sud and the art direction by Amit Lad also earn a special mention for brining the streets of these cities alive and recreating the festival of Holi so beautifully.

The film even scores in characterization.

Pintu respects women. He really does. In an important scene he saves a young girl from an eve teaser and in a heartbeat sings a song; ‘Main Superman, Salman ka Fan, jo le panga, kar du MAA-BEHAN!’

Even Radhika is such a sensitive character. The writers have given her so much depth. For instance she doesn’t like peas. She likes only paneer. See such quirks. Also there is a pensive side to her character as she loses her beloved brother in the movie. In a very emotional scene she fondly remembers her dead brother and in exactly five seconds she raps in a song, “let’s celebrate this moment”. The writers don’t exactly tell us ‘which moment’ though! ‘My-bro-died-I-am-so-sad- moment?’

The film is full of such brilliant screenplay, like the death of Ditsy’s brother juxtaposed with an item number by Shruti Hasan.

Arjun-now-available-in-papa’s-production-Kapoor is exactly what he was in Ishaqzaade, slightly brooding, slightly intense and when nothing seems to work, just smile.

Sonakshi-now-available-in-a-new-haircut-Sinha can do such roles in her sleep. And put everyone to SLEEP too.

The real stars of the film are Manoj Bajpayee and Rajesh Sharma. They both infuse such life into their otherwise one dimensional characters. Manoj Bajpayee is intimidating as Bahubali. What’s interesting is that both Manoj Bajpayee and Arjun Kapoor have dreamy eyes. What you do with them differentiates the stalwart from the amateur.

Tevar ironically lacks attitude and spunk. Watch it only for Manoj Bajpayee.