Saala Khadoos review!

Saala Khadoos

Director- Sudha Kongara

Starring- Madhavan, Rikita Singh

Rating- 2

Saala Khadoos is a path breaking film.

The boxing coach is angry. Nobody knows why. But it makes sense. All the repression of emotions and feelings in Tanu-Manu saga will have to find an outlet you see. It works in Hindi films because anger means intensity. So he screams and shouts and fights. He has an evident paunch and yet body shames his female players. He even makes sexist comments. And all that is fair too. Because the director tells us, 20 years ago his coach had duped him out of a match. Oh telling is such an integral part of this film. I could almost see the invisible spoon feeding me everything. For instance the heroine’s father tells her, he is her father and that she should give him the money. Oh wow, what a family. Such lovely conversations. Dil Dhadakne Do should take a cue. Also towards the end, the jacket of a photographer covering the match reads- MEDIA. Thank you director. I would have never guessed.

The film has such a variety of characters.

Besides the human angry bird of a coach, his student is a refreshing change. She is a motor mouth and gareeb. Like very gareeb. Like she-sells-fish-and-stinks-kind-of-gareeb. But hey she is talented. I sat on the edge of my seat rooting for her to be spotted by the angry coach. And voila! She is. Such a twist in the tale I tell you.

Speaking of twists, the film even talks about things that are rarely seen in Hindi sports films; lazy government officials, sibling rivalry, politics. Gosh what a master piece this Saala Khadoos is.

Initially Angry Bird Coach and Ms. Blabber don’t get along but when they do, we witness an awe inspiring training that leaves us all with a lump in our throats and hernia between our legs. A montage of severe workouts then follows against a soul stirring song sung by (guess who??) Vishal Dadlani. Because sufi voices are meant only for romantic songs. It’s only rock stars like Vishal whose voice can motivate a generation to hit the gym, a gem rarely scene in Hindi films.

Now some of you might dare differ by mentioning films like Mary Kom and Bhag Milkha Bhag? Well I would just pretend you never said it and I never heard it.

Moving very swiftly along…

Ms. Blabber mouth then suddenly takes a shine on the human angry bird. It’s a Hindi film. We have a man, a woman. How on Earth can we not have a love story? The glory, the training, the matches…all that can wait, first let me squeeze the yin yang angle. So Madam Blabber becomes a babe. She cooks a fish-dish and looks a dish herself, slipping into a sari, ticking all boxing for one to fall in love. Her transformation from a fisher woman to a boxer to a Yashraj heroine is so fast, so fast that had the transformation been a car on Sheikh Zayed Road, it would have been flashed multiple times.

The beauty of Saala Khadoos is that it’s building to a finale that one can see from light years; a grand international match with a bad-ass Russian boxer who we all know will be biting the dust by the end of it. You see the writers have done such a fine job that the plot never comes as a shock to the viewers.

Madhavan has prepared so well for his role of a coach, like he has grown his hair and looks like that Hindi comic character called Billu.

He looks so dashing, like a model, displaying Hilfiger tees in every frame that his character could have been called Tommy instead of Adi.

PK succeeded Oh My God. Saala Khadoos succeeds Mary Kom, Chak De India and Hawa Hawai. That doesn’t make it a bad film, it’s just bad timing.

P.S- just wanted to check, have you guys heard of this word called- ‘sarcasm?’ #JustAsking

P.S.S- I have given it two stars because there is an interesting analogy of Genghis Khan and how it makes the climax bearable.

Airlift Review

Airlift

Director- Raja Krishna Menon

Starring- Akshay Kumar and Nimrat Kaur

Rating- 3.5 stars.

Bigg Boss goes international now, in Kuwait. Ha! Excuse my really bad analogy but Airlift did feel like a long season of Bigg Boss where contestants were packed in a school in Kuwait, with a variety of characters; from a snarky uncle to young budding romances to even an International Kuwaiti contestant who can’t speak in Hindi. There was frustration, shortage of both hope and food that made it qualify to be the best season of Bigg Boss ever.

Airlift is about the largest civil air evacuation, airlifting over 170,000 Indians stranded in Kuwait during Gulf War.

Ranjit Katyal (Akshay Kumar), a multi billionaire in Kuwait decides to help all his employees and other Indians stranded in Kuwait. He shelters them all in a camp set up in a school in Kuwait, arranges for food and pulls all his political connections to migrate over 170,000 Indians back to their homeland. The feat seemed so impossible that every time the cynic critic in me wanted to puncture holes in the impossibility of the plot, a voice within me reminded me that it was based on a true story hence I believed all that I watched; including the fact that the airline involved in the airlift was Air India.

What I particularly liked in the movie was its detailing. Shot in the UAE, they have successfully managed to recreate the world of 1990. There are old cars, old black phones that screamed tring tring to even the newsreader on TV with a flower in her hair, a happy reminder of Salma Sultan. There is also a reference to Sachin Tendulkar, a new boy, being slammed by media at his performance. Even the game of Chidiya Udd that Ranjit and his daughter play towards the end is also so 1990s.

Akshay Kumar redeems himself after that hellish no brainer Blah-Bling!! He is cast well. He lends that sense of dependability that the character of Ranjit demands; a man who would take the responsibility of so many people. Akshay Kumar does struggle with his lines yet manages to make it all believable. His change of character from a shrewd mean businessman to this messiah of masses seems a bit out of place though.

Nimrat Kaur is immensely sincere in reprimanding Mr. George in that exact one powerful scene she gets in the movie.

Even the supporting cast is impressive. Prakash Belawadi as an old, critical man irritates you so badly that you want to slap him and leave him in the desert. And that is a compliment to the actor.

Inaamul Haq breaks his hibernation of almost two years after Filmistaan and delivers a fine performance as the Iraqi Major. He has a cute accent in the movie. Kumudh Mishra as the kohl-eyed Kohli in the movie is the real hero, fighting a far bigger battle in Delhi against the apathy and red tapism of Indian bureaucracy.

The film reminds you of how lifestyles have changed with time. Imagine such a situation would now have a parallel world on social media with people posting pictures from the camp, with some strange updates from, food sucks at the camp, to, my boss is so hot, to even check in updates at the Apex International School at a camp.

Airlift on one hand is very real but at times fails to keep the audience on the edge of their seats that one would expect from a rescue thriller. Raja Krishna Menon manages to build tension but not enough to pause you from stuffing your face with that bag of popcorn. And then the need to insert those songs in between that robs a thriller from its pace and impact. Despite that it makes for a great weekend watch.

WHAT THE RATINGS MEAN

5 stars: Loved it. (This could make to top ten movies you must watch before you die!)

4 stars: Liked it. Recommend it. (This will help you sound intellectual and give you stuff to add at water cooler conversations.)

3 stars: Didn’t hurt. Watch it once.

2 stars: It put me to sleep. Watch it if you are an insomniac or a newly wedded couple. Winks!
1 star: Do I even need to explain this?

 

 

 

Wazir Review!

Wazir

Director- Bejoy-woh-Shaitaan-wale-Nambiar

Starring- Farhan Akhtar and Amitabh Bachchan

Rating- 3 stars

 

It’s a trifle hard for me to take a film seriously where amidst stalwarts like Amitabh Bachchan and Farhan Akhtar; you have Neil Nitin Mukesh playing the titular role for exactly 2 minutes. Though I admit Neil nails it in those 2 minutes and deserves an Oscar. For overacting that is.

Wazir is an interesting story of two men bonded by a personal tragedy. Within first fifteen minutes of the film, I cried at Farhan’s Danish’s tragedy. It was directed so well devoid of the usual melodrama. I felt invested in his painful story and wanted to know more. In fact most of the first half of the movie was well paced and had me engaged. And then I was distracted by Amitabh Bachchan’s wig and the supporting characters’ names. There is a Nina, a Noorie and a Neelima, all dead and all used in the same sentence. It was so confusing that instead of feeling the pain of their loss, my mind kept on asking, ‘sorry which one are you talking about?’

The film surely scored on original writing (Vidhu Vinod Chopra and Abhijat Joshi, Munna Bhai fame) but it kept losing track, especially in the second half.  Abhijeet Deshpande has written some clever lines with interesting references to the game of chess. It worked initially but beyond a point it all got so repetitive. Too much of shatranj, pyanda, ghoda, haathi and wazir…someone cut it short please!!

The film despite losing fizz in parts had me engaged mostly because of brilliant performances. Farhan-SFX-oh-so-cute-in-a-mooch-Akhtar is simply brilliant, especially in emotional scenes. He feels Danish’s tragedy so well that it made me weep into my popcorn. Also with his red eyes and sleepy smile, he is by far the best drunk man on screen.
Manav Kaul played the Kashmiri politician with sheer wickedness. The man spoke with his eyes, evoked fear in viewers with that sinister smile. Don’t miss him in a scene where Farhan Akhtar came to interrogate him.

Amitabh-now-available-in-a-hideous-wig-Bachchan has outdone himself, in sporting a hellish hairstyle yet again. If his wigs in Shamitabh and Piku were irritating, the one in Wazir is Olympic level ugly. His ‘Tere Naam’ strands kept going into his eyes so badly that I wanted to pin them back with Hello Kitty pins. Honestly Amitabh Bachchan didn’t wow me, he was just passable.

And then there is John Abraham who in two scenes had a very important role to play in the film, like, tell Danish Ali that he had exactly 30 seconds before he killed the terrorist.

Also Aditi Rao Hydari played a classical dancer with so much depth. Like she displayed an amazing range of Anarkalis in so many different colors.

Bejoy’s films are shot very well. Sanu Varghese’s lens created some beautiful frames shot mostly in dark complimenting the grim theme of the film.

Overall, despite Amitabh’s gyan on pyar, ishq, mohabbat, despite him going overboard with his analogies between life and shatranj, the film doesn’t give you much insight into anything.

It’s an emotional thriller with an ending that you can see from a mile yet is impactful. Watch it once. It won’t hurt.

Food Trucks in Dubai.

Just a couple of years ago, I was in Canada, walking about the down town area of Toronto that I stumbled upon these huge food trucks doling out quick bites to people rushing to work. I stood there spellbound looking at the speed at which the guys in the truck operated.

I very distinctly remember that it occurred to me that Dubai doesn’t have any food trucks leave alone street food.

Cut to November 2015, I was in Delhi. The wintry sun was struggling through the hazy morning and I was walking about in Shalimar Bagh in North Delhi when I saw the good old Raju Chinese Van just about setting the shop up and getting ready for the day in sweet anticipation of a fruitful day. (You will find many of these Chinese vans all over Delhi serving amazing Indian-Chinese delicacies at a nominal price run by young men who hail from Assam, Meghalaya and even Nepal.)  I decided to be their first customer. A plate of chowmein early in the morning is no normal man’s idea of a breakfast but I was very tempted to break the rules for a very nostalgic plate. As I savagely polished it,  it occurred to me again that I would be back in Dubai in a week and there would be no let’s-catch-a-quick-bite-on-the-streets-adventures, my biggest grouch with the sand land.

I had barely landed in Dubai a week later that my friend Dev sent me a message suggesting me to check the food truck carnival in Dubai. I had not even managed to unpack yet I zipped my way to the Creek Park to indulge myself.

The sun was just about to set when I entered the Creek Park. I walked to the spot where four massive trucks were parked back to back serving a variety of milkshakes and quick bites; from shawarmas, to spicy tacos, to grilled cheese sandwiches. I admit there were not too many options for lesser mortal vegetarians like me, so I settled for a vegetable cheese roll. But I decided to trip on their milkshakes. The truck was called MastihaShop. And boy they redefined variety. Saffron, Rose, Chocolate, Pistachio; you name it they had it. I downed a mug of Biscoff, one sweet, crunchy milskhake . Besides being superlatively delicious, it were filling too and each of them came at an affordable price range of 20 to 25 Dirhams.

I learnt this was Dubai’s first food truck marketplace that they called ROUNDUP MARKET that kicked off from 6^th November 2015. The market not only entices your taste buds but promises to give you a fulsome family weekend. There is music and entertainment for all age groups. Right opposite these trucks, there were these food stalls that sold ice creams, candies and other savories. What caught my attention was a pastry that was filled with Baklava. I was too full to try it but saying no to food is the biggest crime in my world. I sucked my tummy in and helped myself with a small serving. Baklava oozing out of a flaky pastry was so delicious that I was ready to die. Like Keats once said that it was such a state of ecstasy that I wished upon death and die on a high.

As I walked back to the parking lot, I thought of Toronto and Delhi and thanked my stars that we now have food trucks in Dubai. Though I so hope I would find them on Dubai streets, but it’s a good start none the less.

You can find this convoy of roaming restaurants at the Zabeel Park and the Creek Park on the weekends. Happy hogging!!