Drishyam Review

DIRECTOR: Nishikant Kamat
STARRING: Ajay Devgn, Tabu, Shriya Saran, Rajat Kapoor
RATING: 3.5 stars

The last time Ajay Devgn and Tabu were scene together in the same frame, Disney shifted its address from Paris to Bangalore, Tabu stole Mini Mouse’s clothes and Anu Malik hit his career’s lowest with Ruk, Ruk, Ruk, Arrey Baba Ruk. Oh My Darling, Give Me a Luk!

In Drishyam, thankfully, everything disappears, what remains constant is ‘luk’, Ajay Devgn’s intense looks, better known as ‘tight focus on his eyes and a frown’, that’s more consistent and stubborn than Gajendra Chauhan.  But full points to Ajay for choosing Drishyam. We were anyway tired of the Golmaals, Action Jacksons and Singhams of the world.

Tabu, on the contrary, has transformed from that cheerleader act to a tough cop, who despite being a terror of an officer has a soft, vulnerable side too. She plays it SO WELL that I had to press the Caps Lock key on my keyboard with gusto! Watch out for her, especially in a specific scene towards the end of the movie where she is about to resolve the case she has been working for so long. She wants to nail it yet hopes otherwise as it involves a personal tragedy. A tear trickles down her cheek, tension grows on her forehead and I realized ‘hope’ and ‘fear’ have never mated so beautifully on any actor’s face till date. BRA-frigging-VO!

Based on a Japanese bestseller, The Devotion of Suspect X, Drishyam is a story of a simple man Vijay (Ajay-without-an-a-in-Devgn) who covers up a murder to save his family. The film is a cut copy paste remake of the Malayalam hit with the same title. The only extra scene that they added was the introduction of Meera (Tabu) dealing with criminals. You see, in Hindi films, a cop is not tough enough unless shot under yellow bulbs in a grave interrogation scene. Also unlike the Malayalam version, Vijay’s elder daughter is adopted. Why? We don’t know. Wait, maybe we do. How can we show Shriya and Ajay as parents of a 16-year-old girl?Market value kharam ho jayega, yaar!

One might try hard to find some loopholes in the story, and the smart ones might find some too, but the beauty of the film is in its telling. You might have many ‘hey-that’s-not-possible’ moments in the film and then the director shows you how it was all done. It’s engaging. You root for Vijay and his family. But when you see Meera’s loss and her pain (kudos to Tabu and Rajat Kapoor for such convincing, mind-blowing performances) you feel helpless for her as well. In fact, the film raises an important question on what’s right and what’s wrong. I didn’t agree with the film’s protagonist’s actions much. You might. And it is this debate that the film sparks that makes it worth a watch.

Drishyam in Malayalam was in sync with the milieu. Mohanlal looked the part (andplayed it SO WELL!). In Hindi, it seemed a bit out of the place. It felt like a van of Hindi speaking people was let loose on the rural Goan land. Vijay and his family looked like tourists on a vacation than locals. The supporting star cast though does a good job. Ishita Dutta as Vijay’s daughter looks convincingly scared and disturbed. Shriya Saran’s dialogue delivery put me to sleep. But my favorite was inspector Gaitonde. Someone please tell me his name!! These useless Wikipedia pages, I tell you!!

I am most itched to tell you about the murder, about the missing dead body and sundry. But I would suggest you watch the film. Don’t miss the last scene. It’s the kind of masterpiece one expects in a thriller, murder mystery.

WHAT THE RATINGS MEAN:

5 stars: Loved it. (This could make to top ten movies you must watch before youDIE!)
4 stars: Liked it. Recommend it. (This will help you sound intellectual and give you stuff to add at water cooler conversations.)
3 stars: Didn’t hurt. Watch it once.
2 stars: It put me to sleep. Watch it if you are an insomniac or a newly wedded couple. Winks!
1 star: Do I even need to explain this?

Bajrangi Bhaijaan Review

Bajrangi Bhaijaan

Director- Kabir Khan

Starring- Salman Khan, Nawazzudin Siddique and Kareena Kapoor.

Rating- 3 stars

A review of a Salman Khan film is as pointless as a fart in a spacesuit, as futile as guests’ opinions on Arnab Goswami’s show and as laughable as Gajendar Chauhan being the chairman of FTII. I will write, two of you will agree, a million other will troll and the makers of the film will be pooping diamonds on Swarovski studded commodes while they plan a sequel with path breaking titles like Dabangg Bajrangi’s Kick ki Jai Ho.

So what does Salman Khan do when he is not playing the upright, helpful, honest, I-will-save-the-world, gareebo ka messiah in Dabangg series produced by brother? He is playing the upright, helpful, honest, I-will-save-the-world, gareebo ka messiah in films produced by him. The template is prepared. Salman Khan changes clothes, locations, accents and lo! Dabangg/Kick/Jai Ho Part 8927 is ready.

However Salman Khan does underplay this time lending a certain sense of likability to Pawan Kumar Chaturvedi aka Bajrangi. Bajrangi is honest, kind hearted being human…I mean human being, whose sole motive is to drop a 6 year old Pakistani girl to her parents. There is a slight problem though. The girl is mute, a problem too small and only second to her acute disorder of wandering off and getting lost. She constantly leaves her parents’/loved ones’ hands, wanders off and gets lost in crowds so often that I wanted to gift her parents a leash. Pets in Dubai are far more obedient. Harshali Malhotra looks cute though and has a lovely smile. She looks like a minuscule version of Kareena Kapoor.  

But the movie has its heart in its place, the place that’s located at PO Box- 500 Crore, Blockbuster Bagh, aag-lag-gayi-all-over-INDIA.   Director Kabir Khan knows what works. He ropes in the country’s biggest superstar to deal with the much loved Indo-Pak issue. The leading lady is gorgeous, the locations are breathtaking, the music by Pritam is a good mix and the film’s marketing team worked relentlessly to come up with a never thought before marketing plan for the film- let’s release it on EID!!

Despite playing to the gallery, Kabir Khan manages to create an endearing character in Bajrangi. He is academically slow, feels tickled while wrestling and is painfully honest. He is so honest that he would single handedly beat the collective integrity scores of Bapu, Anna Hazare and Arvind Kejriwal. Quite ‘honest’ly his sincerity put me to sleep beyond a point. In a scene Nawazudin Siddique says to Bajrangi, ‘tum toh ya bahadur ho, ya bewakoof.’   BOTH, I shouted!! But what I liked the most about Bajrangi was his humanity. Despite being religious, his love for the little girl drives him to face his biggest fears and go that extra mile to help her. And that’s pretty much the crux of the movie; humanity is far bigger than any religion or nationality. Bajrangi crosses the border for a Pakistani girl, a Pakistani decides to help an Indian in his mission and a Maulana (Om Puri) greets an Indian with “Jai Shree Ram.” Director Kabir Khan knows these moments would garner a thundering applause and many a tears and despite being manipulative, it works.

The first half of the film has some interesting sequences especially the ones that reveal the little girl’s religion and country. The fight sequences are thankfully short and few and far in between. I like the detailing too; the color of a DTC bus, the fact that Rasika (Kareena Kapoor) buys clothes for Shahida (Harshali Malhotra) and Salman’s stubble in the second half.  These are a few things that are normally forgotten in a masala film. Kabir Khan keeps it logical mostly. Alas all logic takes a back seat in the second half and we are exposed to huge plot holes meant for the dinosaurs running in the adjacent theater.
-HOW CAN PAKISTANI ARMY ALLOW A FOREIGNER WITHOUT PASSPORT AND VISA?
-WHY COULDN’T THEY TAKE THE RESPONSIBILITY OF THE GIRL?
-HOW CAN BAJRANGI SCOUT THE ENTIRE COUNTRY LOOKING FOR A TINY COTTAGE ON SOME GODFORSAKEN HILLTOP WITHOUT AN ADDRESS OR EVEN WORSE A PLAN?

Before I found answers to these stupid silly questions, I realized the focus had already shifted. It was no longer about Indo-Pak relationship or that the girl be dropped home. It had become all about THE BHAI!! Wow bhai is so honest, bhai is so sincere, bhai fights like a hero, aww bhai smiles, heyy bhai laughs, hahahaha bhai cracks a joke, see bhai burps, OMG bhai just farted, I can’t believe bhai pooed!! And before you know it has reached to a swelling climax where bhai has managed to get people from both India and Pakistan chant his name creating his personal Tomorrowland of sorts.

Thankfully there was Chand Nawab (Nawazudin Siddiqui) and his antics to offset the HAIL THE BHAI movement. He is sheer brilliant with his poker faced, nonchalant humor and nails it in emotional scenes as well. There is a brilliant scene when he asks Pawan if Bajrangi (the God) would help him in Pakistan too. Pawan for the first time seems doubtful in his unmovable faith in Bajrangbali.

Bajrangi Bhaijaan is not a bad film. It’s not regressive like Dabangg, preachy like Jai Ho or irritating like Kick. It’s a cute film that talks about Indo-Pak issue. Though I thought Nitin Kakkar’s Filmistan had done it FAR, FAR, FAAAAR better. But there is a huge difference. Filmistan showed two countries bond on Salman Khan’s Maine Pyar Kiya. Bajrangi Bhaijaan HAS SALMAN KHAN.

Most of all Bajrangi Bhaijaan makes you feel proud, proud of the fact that we come from a secular country like India where a Muslim director takes the biggest Muslim superstar, christens him Bajrangi and makes him chant Jai Shri Raam a million times in a film that releases on EID! Watch it. It’s a fun family watch.

WHAT THE RATINGS MEAN

5 stars: Loved it. (This could make to top ten movies you must watch before you die!) 
4 stars: Liked it. Recommend it. (This will help you sound intellectual and give you stuff to add at water cooler conversations.)
3 stars: Didn’t hurt. Watch it once. 
2 stars: It put me to sleep. Watch it if you are an insomniac or a newly wedded couple. Winks!
1 star: Do I even need to explain this?

Tresind AGAIN.

I am in love. With food. And Tresind. It’s a love triangle where all three of us are happy.

I love Tresind so much that I keep going back to it. This was my fourth visit. No Fifth. I usually don’t repeat restaurants often because it’s better to try new places than repeat the same menu. Also restaurants over a period of time are not able to maintain the same quality. Tresind is different. Besides maintaining the same quality for a year, they keep introducing new dishes on the menu. (They have caught on big time in last one year to the point that other leading restaurants are trying to change their menus based on Tresind’s! Imitation is indeed the best form of flattery!)

What I tried, its make and its cost!! Let’s be cheap and start with complimentary dishes you get!!

1. Dates in a cute little trolley. Ramadaan Kareem. I almost wished I was a kid at Mc Donald’s and this trolley was a part of their Happy Meal.
   
2. Pind Chana Humus and Zatar buns– Humus is usually made with chickpeas. Tresind adds a new twist to this tale by making it with kaale pind chane, yet retaining the original flavor. Pickled olives that came along made it a perfect mouthful.
   
3. Deconstructed Pani Puri. (70 AED)

   It’ molecular gastronomy at its best- it was gol gappa served INSIDE OUT!! Instead of Suji balls filled with jaljeera pani, it was a jaljeera bubble peppered with suji balls.
   

4. Wild Mushroom Chai – (Sorry I don’t remember its price). Mushroom Soup served as chai. This is as fancy as it gets. Morel mushrooms with truffle oil, two of the rare and very expensive ingredients. In fact morels are grown in Kullu in Himachal and cost close to 20,000 Rs per Kg. They serve mushroom soup (made of morels) as chai, in cups. They add truffle oil powder in it and it tastes DIVINE! Loved the glass kettle and its presentation.
   
5. Paneer Tikka (90 AED)
   This Paneer Tikka might look regular, but tastes far from regular. There is hardly anything that’s regular at Tresind. This is coated with peanut butter. Crunchy peanuts added a fun texture to the good old Paneer Tikka, however I wish I could taste more butter in it as well.

   

6. Potato Sphere Dahi Kebabs (85 AED)
   I am a HUGE dahi kebab fan. And this is one of my FAVORITE dishes at Tresind. YOU MUST, YOU DEFINITELY MUST. Ok let me say it one more time: YOU TOTS MUST TRY THIS!!! So they serve Dahi Kebabs in a potato basket. They shred potatoes into long strings (I have no clue how they do it, some fancy machines I am sure.) They wrap dahi kebabs with these long, thin potato strings and deep fry them. You are drooling, aren’t you?? It comes with Muhammara Chutney. I like how Lucknow and Syria meet in Dubai.
   
7. Dim Sum Naans (Yet not on the menu. Chef Himanshu was kind enough to serve this even before it found its place on the menu!)
   
   Veggies stuffed in small pockets (naans) and served with dim sum chutney and Schezwan sauce!! Just look at the presentation. That little bench on a little field. Tresind keeps in mind the fact that we all eat with our eyes too.
   
8. Dahi Bhalla Icecreams. (35 AED per serving)

   This was so tasty and so simple that I will SO try this in Loki’s Kitchen and share the recipe. What they have essentially done is that they have turned dahi bhallas into an ice-cream and served it over fried potatoes and bhel. I am not saying much. I will just make it one of these days.
   

9. Sorbet Khandvi.

   Even their palette cleanser comes with such an interesting fusion twist. This one tastes EXACTLY like Khandvi but served COLD as Sorbet. It’s such a mind game. When you look at it, you expect it to taste like fruity sorbet. When you take a spoonful it surprises you with everything that’s Khandvi; yogurt-y, gingery, black-mustard-seed-y!! Slurps!!!
   

10. Juhu Tawa Pulao. (105 AED)

    I am NOT much of a rice person. I would prefer breads over biryani or pulao. I STAND converted NOW. It might sound like an exaggeration but I kid you not, this, BY FAR, has been the best PULAO I have ever tasted in life. You remember Pao Bhaji vendors at Juhu Chowpaty. Steaming a little secret here- they make their Pulao on the same Tawa on which they beat their Pao-Bhaji. Chef Himanshu has taken the same street trick and mixed Pulao with (Pao) Bhaji and tossed them all over in a wok. Don’t miss the vinegar dipped onions in it. The results were pretty embarrassing though- me barbarically downing huge portions of pulao like I had not eaten in ages. Mind-frigging-blowing.
    

11. Damn I don’t remember the name. (100 AED)
    So this desert is an ice-cream served in a mango base, beaten by refrigerated rose petals. This is one of those desserts that I had not tried before. It was nice but I would rather go back to their Daulat ki Chaat or their Deconstructed black forest cake.
    

    I am a Tresind FAN. Taking my friends/relatives to this place is my ultimate expression of love. They are planning to introduce new vegetarian dishes (Gujarati dishes!) on Eid and I have already marked it on my calendar and made a mental booking at the restaurant. See you there!!

    Tresind is located at Radisson Royal, Sheikh Zayed Road. Second Floor.
    Per person- 250/300 AED. Worth EVERY Dirham!! Correction. Every Fil.

Guddu Rangeela Review

DIRECTOR: Subhash Kapoor
STARRING: Arshad Warsi, Amit Sadh, Ronit Roy and Aditi Rao Hydari
RATING: 2.5 stars

‘Crime when gets personal becomes passionate,” observes a policeman inGuddu Rangeela. Short of a halo, I felt like Buddha, like totally enlightened with such gems. The problem is that the film lacks both: personal touch and passion.

Guddu Rangeela is not like Vicky Donor or Mickey Virus. It’s different. Guddu Rangeela is not one person, but two people. See how different. Guddu and Rangeela are crafty make shifters, trying to cough up dough for a legal case against Billu Pahalwan who supports honour killings!!

And who better than Ronit Roy to play this barbaric, pensive, regressive misogynist? Don’t get me wrong. Ronit Roy is a fine actor. But he was grimacing in Udaan and in Boss and in 2 States; it seems he has mastered that expression so well that he sleepwalks from one set to the other with those tense brows and that frown!!

And then he opened his mouth. And spoke in Haryanvi. It began with tanne ended with manne and has a Ghana bawra in between for the effect. It wasn’t bad. That’s how Haryanvi people in Hindi films speak. Kangana Ranaut has such a business opportunity here. She could easily conduct some tutorials for the entire star cast. Remember her recent number toh main du kona act in Tanu Weds Manu Returns?

It’s a good thing filmmakers are at least addressing the grave issue of honour killings in their films (NH 10, Tanu Weds Manu Returns and now Guddu Rangeela). But it’s dealt so halfheartedly in this movie that it makes other issues like #15YearsOfAbhishekBachchansPaunch look far more important!!

The issue is lost in characters’ personal problems. They want to kill Billu Pahalwan because he killed their fiancé/sister/papa!! It’s understandable the film has a certain story that they want to tell through these characters but it is far from engaging. I felt no pain when someone’s fiancé is shot dead or someone’s father’s is burnt alive. I what-sap so disinterested that for the first time I read and even enjoyed all those -good-morning-life-is-beautiful-be-grateful-face-your-problems-with-confidence- kind of no brainer what-sap forwards from my aunt on our family group.

In film’s defense, it does have some funny lines and moments. There is a visa celebration night in the heart of Haryana where everyone is so happy because a young rich boy has got his visa to Kenya! It’s done with such a straight face that it evokes humour.

The supporting cast is pitch perfect. The inspectors (Rajeev Gupta) speak convincingly in Haryanvi. Their body language is just as good. Dibyendu Bhattacharya as a PR person for the underworld is brilliant too.

Arshad-now-available-in-kohl-eyes-Warsi is a fine actor. He has come a long way ever since his Munnabhai days. For example, in Munnabhai he was on the passenger’s seat on the side car Munna drove. In Guddu Rangeela, he rides the bike leaving the passenger’s seat to Amit Sadh, the kind of progression no actor has even seen in Hindi films. Amit-once-a-Bigg-Boss-contestant-face-palm-Sadh and Aditi Rao Hydari try to save badly written characters!!

The film doesn’t underestimate your IQ as most Hindi films do. Watch it if you have got nothing to do on the weekend.

WHAT THE RATINGS MEAN

5 stars: Loved it. (This could make to top ten movies you must watch before you die!)

4 stars: Liked it. Recommend it. (This will help you sound intellectual and give you stuff to add at water cooler conversations.)

3 stars: Didn’t hurt. Watch it once.

2 stars: It put me to sleep. Watch it if you are an insomniac or a newly wedded couple. Winks!
1 star: Do I even need to explain this?