Cle Dubai

Vegetarian food doesn’t always mean Paneer Pasanda or Dal Makhani. No I am not even going to harp on the contemporary Indian fusion; see how they gave a twist to Dal Tadka or how they made Khandvi Sorbet or such things. I already have talked about them in my last few posts. This time it’s modern Middle Eastern cuisine at Cle Dubai. There is such great vegetarian variety in other cuisines aching to be explored and enjoyed!!

Hold your jaws before you read this- I tried such delicious Middle Eastern ‘vegetarian’ food that I have drooled all over my laptop even before I have finished this sentence. Yes you read it right- Vegetarian Middle Eastern food. Oxymoron right? Read on and you would be surprised.
Whenever I have gone out to a Lebanese restaurant with friends, plates of Shawarmas, Shish Tawooks and Dolmas are pushed under my nose. My friends ask me the very obvious question- ‘tu vegetarian hain?’ almost making me sound like a different specie altogether. They even suggest I can dip my breads in their chicken gravy with a very nonchalant, ‘abey kuch nahi hota, kisi ko nahi pata chalega.’ Err I don’t eat non vegetarian not because I am scared of anyone. It’s a frigging personal CHOICE!! So I usually look around and sheepishly scoop some humus kuboos onto my plate with tahini and Fattoush.

Recently my friend suggested to go to Cle Dubai on that rare rainy day in Dubai, and I felt I was at life’s most difficult crossroads. Samosas/Bhajiya in Bur Dubai vs sniffing food in a restaurant- I fought the temptation and decided for the latter. I am glad I did.

Cle Dubai is in DIFC and unlike other restaurants serves both Italian and Indian breads. The breads were HOT, FRESH and So SOFT that I knew the food at Cle will blow my mind away. It did.

I started with Salads-

Courgette salad, Burrata, fresh Zatar and pomegranate dressing. (38 dhms)

I know it sounds too fancy so let me break it down for you. Courgette is Zucchini and Burrata is your good old buffalo cheese. Instead of chopping Zucchini they had peeled the vegetable into long ribbon strips. The cheese was fresh and fluffy and the pomegranate dressing added just the right amount of tang to the salad.
Salads were followed by a quick starter bite. Yeah yeah I didn’t have many options so I settled down for falafel. This one came with a difference though. I ordered-
Hazel Nut Falafel with whipped yogurt and tahini sauce. (48 Dhms)

Michelin starred celebrity chef Greg Malouf gives a twist to the good old starters. Hazelnuts made falafels a tad crunchier and hell tastier.
Now I had never thought Gobhi, our very own gobhi ke parathe wali gobhi can be cooked in such an interesting way. It was called-
Zahra – Cauliflower, with sesame sauce & Parmesan cumin wafer. (35 dhms)

I loved how the chef had played with different spices and made them all come together to have a blast of flavors on your tongue. The cauliflower was nice, crisp and crunchy. So I guess it was half boiled, shallow fried and then deep fried. The base of sesame seeds sauce with sesame seeds lavishly garnished all over added an interesting texture to it. And it was topped with Parmesan cheese wafer made with cumin seeds. If you get confused about different types of cheese (just like me, teehee) then let me explain. Parmesan is your hard cheese, the one that you usually see in Tom and Jerry. Yeah that one. The chef had taken a thin slice of that cheese and roasted it with cumin seeds. I admit the wafer was a bit too strong and pungent but one scoop of everything; cauliflower with the wafer, dipped in sauce tasted just heavenly!!
I was nearly full by this time but something interesting on the menu caught my eye. It read-
Prasopita- Greek Spinach, leek and Haloumy pie. (56 dhms)

What I read literally sounded Greek to me. But what is there in the world that can’t be Googled? In the middle of my dinner I learnt Prasopita is a traditional ‘Greek’ (hehe) pie that has leek and meat in it. Cle Dubai served the vegetarian option of the same. It had spinach, leek and halloumi (my third type of cheese in one night). It was like a puff, stuffed with spinach and covered with powder sugar. The Turkish chilies and powder sugar gave it a strange sugary salty spicy taste. I didn’t enjoy it much but it was a good experimental try anyway!
No matter how stuffed one is, there is always some room for desserts. What landed next on our table was-
Pavlova with Amalfi lemon caramel cream, strawberry salad and pinenut praline (55 dhms)

What’s interesting is that the restaurant fused different cuisines and gave a fun twist to Middle Eastern dishes, however retaining the original flavors of the local dishes. Again Google comes handy. Pavlova is a cake that originated in New Zealand that has whipped cream and fruits. Every scoop of this dish was a heavenly bliss. Imagine your mouth full of cake, cream, fruits, and nuts floating in nutty sugary syrup. DROOL!!!

Cle Dubai was launched just a few months ago by Paris Hilton and Hrithik Roshan. I am not much a fan of dimly lit places, but Cle Dubai despite being a tad dark has interesting interiors. Look at these chandeliers. Gorgeous!!

Most of all it is backed by one of the most reputed names in the food industry Greg Malouf who has recently penned a book with Lucy Malouf – New Feast, a book dedicated to all modern middle eastern vegetarians. Yes every dish in the book is a vegetarian book. So next time when someone laughs/mocks/sympathizes you for being a vegetarian hence ‘missing out on great Middle eastern cuisine’, you can totally show them this book and take them to Cle Dubai.
Most of all it doesn’t even pinch your pocket. 150 per person is not a bad deal for a nice fine dining experience.

Badlapur review!!

Badlapur
Director- Sriram Raghavan
Actors- Varun Dhawan, Nawazudin Siddique, Huma Qureshi, Yami Gautam
Rating- 3 stars
Badlapur is a revenge story. Dah. We would have never guessed. It’s like ‘Basanti tumhara naam kya hain!?’
Yes the title of the film is as lame as a couple of its scenes. For instance when Raghu tricks Shobha (a social worker) into bed, the camera zooms on the Scrabble board and the word is- R.E.V.E.N.G.E. Wow. Thanks for telling. Or else I would have eagerly waited for a romantic song in the Alps.
The film’s trailer advised not to miss the beginning of the film which indeed is a masterpiece. The opening scene is a wide shot of a market capturing stray dogs ambling, traffic building up and women haggling. Everything looks out of focus yet you don’t miss two men breaking into a bank, traffic policemen towing a car and a woman dodging traffic and crossing the road. Suddenly the blurry scene gains focus and momentum and you see the woman is Misha (Yami Gautam) with her son who gets hijacked in her car by bank robbers, Harman (Vinay Pathak) and Liak (Nawazudin Siddique).
What follow are two dialogues said repeatedly by both Raghu and Liak over fifteen long years that I actually felt I saw Liak’s hair turn white. Phew. All they say is-
Raghu- tera partner kaun hain?
Liak- maine khoon nahi kiya hain!
How far the good can go to settle the scores makes revenge films interesting. Hence Madhuri Dixit feasting on Tinu Anand’s arm in Anjaam is still so delicious. Or Urmila Matondgar feeding all of Saif’s body to cave rodents in Ek Haseena Thi continues to tickle. Badlapur has a new payback strategy. You kill me wife, I will sleep with yours (and all those women who are remotely connected to my wife’s death.) ‘My husband made me a prostitute’ should have a sequel video now- ‘My wife made me sexomaniac.’
The first fifteen minutes of Badlapur felt like someone had kicked me in the stomach. I even cried especially when Raghu‘s wife serves him Rajmaa in name of some exotic Mexican dish. And that too for a WEEK! Tragic. Very tragic.

Jokes aside the scene where Raghu breaks down indeed was a tear jerker.
Varun-this-film-is-so-real-I-have-not-even-waxed-my-chest-Dhawan played Raghu. He spoke with his eyes, but only so briefly. He got the body and its language right but failed to menace. Raghu should be cold and unforgiving. He should frighten me, disgust me. I should feel his pain and justify his brutality. Nothing. Zilch. Zolly.
All he does is what most ‘intense’ actors do; hide the expressionless face behind a scruffy beard and yes (pause) sleep with multiple women. But hey how does that really matter? Women of all ages will still scream over a heartgasm, ‘oh my god he is so hawt!’ But full points, at least Varun is trying and shows potential.
There is a crucial scene where Raghu imitates Liak that differentiates the natural actor from a novice. Nawazudin-I-didn’t-do-Kick-Siddique plays (ironically called) Liak so well and so close that I wonder if he is as cheeky and sleazy in real life as well. He contorts his body to look the part as he sleeps on the prison floor and looks convincingly apologetic as he mocks grief at Raghu’s tragedy.
So amid Varun’s hotness and Nawaz’s histrionics logic goes for a walk in Zabeel Park. Raghu nurses his revenge for twenty years. Twenty YEARS? Even marriages don’t last that long these days. And where did his mamma papa disappear who were so concernedly feeding him a glass of juice two scenes ago!? And what job is he in when he wears that yellow hard hat? Last time a Hindi film hero sported that hat Javed Akhtar hit his career’s lowest low and SRK’s six pack abs made a rather ‘darde’ debut!
Badlapur is not bad. It has got a fabulous supporting star cast; Huma Qureshi, Vinay Pathak and Radhika-oh-my-god-that-woman-is-hot-and-talented-Apte. Besides it has a story and a beginning that’s both emotional and powerful.

WHAT THE RATINGS MEAN

5 stars: Loved it. (This could make to top ten movies you must watch before you die!)
4 stars: Liked it. Recommend it. (This will help you sound intellectual and give you stuff to add at water cooler conversations.)
3 stars: Didn’t hurt. Watch it once.
2 stars: It put me to sleep. Watch it if you are an insomniac or a newly wedded couple. Winks!
1 star: Do I even need to explain this?

Stubble-Lipstick-Fake Beard make ROY!

DIRECTOR: Vikramjit Singh
STARRING: Ranbir Kapoor, Arjun Rampal and Jacqueline Fernandez
RATING: 2.5 Stars

You remember that topper in the class who would never give a straight answer even to the simplest question. You asked him how the weather was and he would start with South Westerly winds, precipitation, condensation, global warming, carbon footprint and end with depleting species in South Africa. Yeah that. The film is that kid. It looks intelligent but is so random that Kiran Bedi’s recent delirious interviews begin to make sense.

Roy is a film about a flirtatious filmmaker Kabir (Arjun Rampal) whose life runs parallel with one of his characters Roy (Ranbir Kapoor) that causes enough turmoil in his love life. Finally, both the director’s as well as character’s lives merge and bring love back into the filmmaker’s life. It’s an interesting novel idea; alas, the debutant director Vikramjit Singh is unable to translate his own story on celluloid.

Jaqueline-Sallu-bhai-ki-daya-bani-rahe-Fernandez plays a double role, Ayesha and Tia, a filmmaker and an actor respectively. She has played both the roles so differently, for instance, the colour of her lipstick and her hair changes. If Ayesha is pink-lipped, Tia is red-lipped. If Ayesha has long tresses, Tia’s hair is shoulder length. Such distinct traits lend such depth to both the characters.

The brilliant idea of fiction meeting reality is sadly lost in bizarre situations, random dialogues and clueless characters. There is an ageing, ailing father who hits on his nurses, loves cigars and gives Ted talks to an audience that consists ONLY his son. There is a detective who wears trench coats, smokes like a chimney, bears a pocket watch and does everything to look the palest version of Byomkesh Holmes!!

The dialogues don’t help either. Picture this-

The Flirty Filmmaker: One who has guns is always in control.

The Pink-Lipped Lass: No, the one who has a heart, is.

Pause.

The Pink-Lipped Lass: You know I always wanted to be a ballet dancer.

And all this while I am thinking this will eventually make sense and will lead to something meaningful. It does. A ballet performance by the Pink-Lipped at the beach. I am sure there is some deep-rooted philosophy between guns, heart and ballet that my stupid silly mind can’t comprehend.

Arjun-Milind-Soman-body-double- Rampal is extremely earnest in portraying the maverick filmmaker and his idiosyncrasies but earnestness doesn’t always translate into a pathbreaking performance. He tries his best to show the characters’ insecurities and vulnerabilities. Alas, I could feel none.

Ranbir-I-am-yet-not-engaged-to-Katrina-Kapoor plays a thief who has no history, no layers and no dimensions. He has a deadpan expression all through, while stealing, romancing, smoking or punching the baddies to pulp. We don’t blame him. It’s a badly written character. Besides, one gets exhausted dealing with eggzzaatic accents on a daily basis. Ghar mein Katrina, sets par Jacqueline and between the two of them we have covered the entire Rapidex English Speaking Course.

The film is shot beautifully. The screenplay is clever too. A story that keeps shifting between time and space from real life to reel and vice versa, life can be puzzling but the smart screenplay avoids any such confusion. I just wish they hadn’t packed too much randomness in the name of art and intensity.

There is an instance when Ayesha comments on bad films, ”One should end the film if headed in the wrong direction.”  If only the director practiced what he preached!

Watch it for the debutant director’s attempt at telling a different story with gorgeous actors that make enough eye candies!

WHAT THE RATINGS MEAN

5 stars: Loved it. (This could make to top ten movies you must watch before you die!) 
4 stars: Liked it. Recommend it. (This will help you sound intellectual and give you stuff to add at water cooler conversations.)
3 stars: Didn’t hurt. Watch it once. 
2 stars: It put me to sleep. Watch it if you are an insomniac or a newly wedded couple. Winks!
1 star: Do I even need to explain this?