Of birthdays, best friends and fine dining. Try Junoon- a new Indian Restaurant at Shangrila Hotel, Sheikh Zayed Road!

March 28, 2015April 19, 2015 ~ Lokesh Dharmani ~ Leave a comment

It was my birthday. Also known as Beta-Umar-Badd-Rah- Hain-Ab-Toh-Shadi-Kar-Le-Day. If I earned a dirham every time someone gave me a Shadi-Kar-Le- advice, I would be pooping rubies, sapphires and emeralds on a diamond studded gold potty seat in that expensive suite of Burj Al Arab.
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I was at Paragon Cafeteria instead enjoying my humble 2 dirham dosa breakfast on my birthday. The day got fancier in the evening though when my best friends Manju and Lekha decided to celebrate my birthday at Junoon. For the benefit of Master Chef Australia viewers, Junoon is a restaurant (associated) with Vikas Bhalla, the Michelin starred Indian chef better known as ‘Arey that slimmer smarter judge with Sanjeev Kapoor on Master Chef India.’ Jokes aside, he is quite a name to reckon with in the industry. (By the way he is launching a book at Junoon in April!)

This is what we tried at the restaurant and here are my thoughts.

In Appetizers we decided to go with one safe option and one experimental. Our safe option was-

Aloo Tikki Chole Chaat – 54 Dhms

Call me desi or whatever but I like my aloo tikki crispy and crunchy. And it landed exactly like that on our table though in a much smaller size than what I expected. (You see I come from Delhi and I have devoured the rather big sized tikkis of Bitto Tikki Wala.) Interestingly the tikkis were served with three kinds of chutneys; mint, red chilli and fig chutney (which I found very unusual).

Our experimental option in appetizers was-

Eggplant Chaat- 54 Dhms
I highly highly one more time HIGHLY recommend this. Thin slices of Italian baingan(those long ones) (like thin slices of potato chips) were dipped in a thin paste made of rice flour and corn flour and deep fried like chips. They served it with tamarind chutney and chat masala. I cam back home and tried this!! The recipe of my baingan chaat, here-

http://city1016.ae/baingan-chaat
We also tried one Kebab dish. One of my friends had recommended this-
Mushroom Galouti Kebabs 60 Dhms
The description of the dish read- raw Shiitake mushrooms, fried onion puree and star anise. Not that I am an expert on different kinds of mushrooms, but hey what is it in the world that can’t be found with Google Uncle from I Phone Vihar New Delhi. Shiitake are edible mushrooms and considered one of the healthiest foods in the world.

The dish was served in an onion puree with green chilli achar. Umm ok. I was so blown away by their eggplant chaat that everything else on the table tasted pretty average.

I then skimmed through the menu to place the order for the mains. The strategy (wow suddenly my birthday sounds like a business meeting) was pretty simple; one safe, one experimental dish. We ordered-

Mooli Urad Daal, the cheapest on the menu; 48 Dhms

Now I am not a big fan of Urad daal but the combination of daal with mooli (radish) looked pretty interesting. And sadly ONLY looked interesting. It was pretty bland for my taste. I was expecting some crazy fusion of the two; alas they had just grated mooli over daal with a hint of ginger. My mom loved it by the way. So yeah, different strokes for different folks.The safe dish in the main menu turned out much tastier. Yes I ordered a paneer item. Like how Chetan Bhagat observes in Two States and I quote- “Nothing soothes an upset Punjabi like dairy products.” I am a Sindhi but I come from Delhi and paneer always scores.
Paneer Do Pyaza- 84 dhms

Paneer Do Pyaza was exactly what Paneer Do Pyaza is supposed to be- onionY, yogutrY, creamy and very very tasty. Was made in blanched onions (lots of onions and spring onions) and yogurt. One could even smell fennel in it. I am drooling now.The breads and drinks were interesting too-
Coriander Leaf Garlic Nann – 18 Dhms
Junoon Spiced Naan- 24 Dhms and
Roasted Pumpkin Kulcha- 24 dhms (I liked the concept of pumpkin seeds in my Kulcha!)
Rejuvenate- 42 Dhms-
Cucumber juice with lemons!!
Spooky Manja- 42 Dhms
Pineapple Juice, Vanilla Syrup, Berries and Passion fruit. (HIGHLY recommend this!!)We had finished our meals that the restaurant decided to drop a complimentary dish on us. (And no they didn’t know I was an RJ/blogger or anything because the lady who served us spoke Tagalog and the manager was Paul an English gentleman!)
Bagarey Baingan- 84 Dhms

It’s a typical Hyderabadi delicacy made in peanut gravy. Traditionally they also put sesames seeds. At Junoon they served it with coconut, curry leaf and tamarind. The eggplants were nice and soft and the gravy was thick and rich. Again a highly recommend!!We were so full and there was NO room, NO ROOM for desserts. Ok I am kidding. Hell we had desserts and we settled for a quick Kulfi tasting.
There were interesting options on the menu-
Cardamom, curry leaf and Custard apple- 54 DhmsI specially wanted to try their curry leaf flavored ice cream and to put it politely, it was ummm interesting, and an acquired taste I guess.

Junoon was a fabulous experience. It gives Indian cuisine a nice contemporary touch and with their really friendly staff, it turned out to be a perfect birthday evening.

It will easily cost you close to 400 dhms for two people if you try all their courses.

NH 10 Review

March 12, 2015March 12, 2015 ~ Lokesh Dharmani ~ 3 Comments

NH 10

Director- Navdeep Singh

Stars- Anushka Sharma, Neil Bhoopalam, Darshan Kumaar and Deepti Nawal

Rating- 3.5 stars

Don’t be surprised if NH 10 is banned because it deals with the issue of Honor Killings. And as a nation, we believe in tackling our problems smartly. We don’t ban the vice; we ban the people who talk about the vice. You see as long as we don’t document our country’s problems in documentaries/films/books and don’t let the world know about them, we are all good. India ki image (and Tourism) bhi koi chees hain yaar.

What’s appalling is that we have such grave issues like honor killings staring in our faces and all we care about is an AIB roast and its ban and break the internet with inconsequential people like ML Sharmas and AP Singhs and make them twitter celebrities overnight. I am glad someone spared a thought on real issues of the country.

NH 10 is a road film, a vacation taken by an urban couple that goes wrong as they cross paths with Haryana’s criminals. It’s this contrast between a city and its adjoining villages and the social economic problems it creates that the film manages to bring out pretty well.

Navdeep Singh after Manorma Six Feet Under comes back with yet another dark, gritty film. It’s under his direction that the relationship of a young couple looks so believable and the situations in the film authentic. He explores the noir of both Delhi and Haryana with a sense of sinister that looms large throughout the film.

The first half of the film flourishes with subtlety; a scary man’s reflection in the car’s rearview mirror that read- “Objects in mirror are closer than they really are.” The famous Turkish evil eye that dangled in the car. It prepares you for the impending evil. You know it’s round the corner and you already start rooting for the protagonists. The film was so gripping that at one point I felt my body stiffen up and my feet felt like lead. I could barely move. And when the hero took some wrong decisions, I almost stood up and yelled- run silly, don’t be a stud!!

Anushka Sharma is a natural. She owns Meera, lives her fears and her struggle. There is a certain ease about her that helps her own the lines she mouths. And then it all looks so natural, so convincing and so believable. I was pleading with her when she sought help from the cops and I yelled with her when she pelted both abuses and stones at the criminals.

Neil Bhoopalam is endearing and Darshan Kumar shows promise too. And then there is Deepti Nawal. I almost feared it would spoil the fun. Because every time a Deepti Nawal is unleashed on screen wrapped in a shawl (Bang Bang, Yaarian and Tevar), there is melodrama, regressive lines and the age old bechari ma act that puts you to sleep. In NH 10, she is wicked, a matriarch, heartless and unforgiving.

The gritty, gripping first half alas doesn’t lead to a powerful crescendo. The action (a woman stabbing a man’s eye with a pen) becomes too brutal, like an afterthought; ‘hey it’s an edgy film, let’s make it gory’. Anushka Sharma hogs most of the second half; perks of being a producer? I am not sure. But it revolves around her. The camera captures her running, panting, seeking help, dodging the goons and that’s when it starts looking a bit manipulative, like trying hard to evoke empathy.

And even the climax becomes too filmy, a bit too contrived; Meera lighting up a cigarette as Satbir (Darshan) crawls across the road just doesn’t convince.

The saving grace is that it’s directed and enacted so well that it doesn’t hurt much.

My heart accompanied my tongue in my mouth for most parts of the film. Watch it for fabulous direction, performances and sharp snappy editing that brings it down to 120 minutes of thrill and adventure.

WHAT THE RATINGS MEAN

5 stars: Loved it. (This could make to top ten movies you must watch before you die!)

4 stars: Liked it. Recommend it. (This will help you sound intellectual and give you stuff to add at water cooler conversations.)

3 stars: Didn’t hurt. Watch it once.

2 stars: It put me to sleep. Watch it if you are an insomniac or a newly wedded couple. Winks!

1 star: Do I even need to explain this?

Dirty Politics Review.

March 5, 2015March 6, 2015 ~ Lokesh Dharmani ~ 4 Comments

Dirty Politics

Starring- Om Puri, Mallika Sherawat, Naseerudin Shah, Anupam Kher

Director- KC Bokadia

Rating- 1 star

An old politician discovers raging libido at 70, sets his lustful eyes on a dancer. The dancer in turn uses sex to frame the politician to fulfill her big political dreams. And in their silly tussle I felt like a piece of steak mercilessly rolled over fire in that glass oven outside that Shawarma shop for hours in slow motion. (And they are fretting about beef ban. What about human flesh being roasted on a weekly basis while watching such films? #BanTheseFilms.

Dirty Politics has so many men that my eyes started to bleed after a point. Dhoti clad, fat, beer bellied obnoxious men are unleashed mercilessly on you that you actually feel the ‘dirty’ of Dirty Politics in a different context altogether though. Om Puri, Ashutosh Rana, Anupam Kher, Sushant Singh, Jackie Shroff, Naseerundin Shah, Govind Namdev, Rajpal Yadav, Atul Kulkarni and many ghamcha bearing extras. Phew. There were so many men in the film that even a Mallika Sherawat felt like a breath of fresh air even though she and her really short ghagra appear on screen after forty five minutes into the film.

The first twenty minutes of the film are well paced. They come straight to the point addressing the murder of Anokhi Devi; alas only to harp on it for the rest of 100 minutes of the film. At an exasperated point I was like ‘somebody, please somebody solve this case before I see the end of the world.’

Dirty Politics has no shades of grey. The bad is very bad and the good is so honest that they would even pay for that extra dhaniya that one gets during grocery shopping. They will fight injustice, frown at being bribed and be so moralistic that Aamir Khan will have a complex. They even spew some ‘wardi ki kasam‘ kind of dialogues.

KC Bokadia takes a run of the mill script and gives no turns, no twists no nothing to the film. It’s a checklist of all cliches in a political drama- ambition check, sex check, elections check, good policemen check, bad policemen check and a climax with full courtroom drama hell check!!

Even the dialogues date back to 1950s. Sample this- ‘Hame apne andar chipe huye barood ko chingari dikhani hain.’ I wanted to drop the same barood on the person who wrote that dialogue.

Even the situations are so banal. A police officer nails a shooter who tried to assassinate the CBI chief.

Policeman- how much did they pay you to kill the CBI chief?

Shooter- ten thousand.

Policeman- You would kill anyone for ten thousand???

Pause. Hang on for a sec. So are you trying to say that it’s cool to kill for a crore but not for a petty sum like ten thousand? Woah!!! How about asking him more pertinent questions like people who sent him to kill the CBI chief than going through his salary slip!!

Om Puri had to look frustrated in the film and he does a stellar job of it. Well on second thoughts it must not be so difficult especially when you are sandwiched between a no brainer script and a dimwit like Mallika Sherawat.

Mallika-paaaliitiiiccss-with-an-accent-Sherawat plays Anokhi Devi. She is so irritating that when she dies in the movie you feel relieved. Her death by the way is NOT a SPOILER. She is THE spoiler. There is a scene in which she bangs her phone on the floor. The phone had more expressions than her face.

I wonder what kind of conviction or payments made such talented actors; (from Naseer to Om Puri to Sushant Singh to Atul Kulkarni and Anupam Kher) take up such blah of a film. Dirty politics is very dirty, no, not the kinds you are thinking. That dirt is usually deleted for a UAE release!! And the little that they showed had a Sherawat clambering all over Mr. Puri done so badly that I am really scarred for life.