Bareilley Ki Barfi Review

Bareilly Ki Barfi

Director- Ashwiny Iyer Tiwari

Starring- Sheer Talent

Rating- 4 stars

Challenging deep rooted biases in small town India, retaining their sensibilities, dialect, language, humor and also keeping it entertaining is a mammoth task. Bareily Ki Barfi nails it in every department.

It’s true when Bitti’s liberal father says ‘Humne beti ko bete ki tarah pala hain’ yet he doesn’t realize the deep rooted misogyny in the same line. He shares cigarettes with her and yet tells her how she must sit on a bike. The mother calls the nocturnal daughter, Bitti, chudail and a friend calls his friend sissy when he finds him crying, ‘Janani ki tarah aansoo baha rahe ho’. And despite such disturbing stereotyping around women, there is a scene when a love struck man declares his love for a woman, he is aptly questioned Kya Rama bhi tum se pyar karti hain?

In this heartwarming love triangle of mistaken identities and romantic poetry, just when we feel that the quarrelling suitors, in their pointless inflated male chauvinistic egos, have forgotten what the leading lady really wants, the end of the film surprises us yet again, restoring my faith in good writing. Phew, that was a long sentence, unlike the movie that’s short, gets to the point and keeps you engaged before you reach the denouement. Thank you Nitesh Tiwari and Shreyas Jain. Thank you for writing a snappy second half (despite the heartbreak song), thank you for infusing smells and colors into words like Kantaap and Liliya rahe ho and turning matlab into mallab, unhone into unne and bahut into baoutiii, lending the required dialect to the setting. But most of all thank you for showing us that one can write a funny script where humor is in built, a part of story telling and not contrived. Barring the ‘Rajesh wets/beds Seema wedding card jokes, shamelessly lifted from the internet, clever lines like ‘Sari pehanane wala topi pehna gaya’ is a comment on a character’s profession and his change of heart besides evoking a genuine laugh. Bravo.

Bareilly Ki Barfi is an interesting take on love triangles with ample twists and turns, worthy of an Abbas Mastan pot boiler, but only a tad more believable. The smart script fixes a flaw just when you point it out. And even if you find something implausible, you go with the flow only because the story is told so well, the characters are so believable and the performances are so exquisite. There you go. I used a big word there, it must mean something.

Ayushmann Khurana inhales and exhales the right amount of desipan and urban swag as an author in Bareilly, uses his charm to keep you engaged in a selfish mean character of Chirag Dubey and cries effectively at a crucial self awareness moment that makes him the true hero of the film. That scene is a winner. Hindi films usually glorify mean behavior in name of humor making it acceptable. Chirag’s mean ways are regularly called out in the movie, ‘aap bahut neech hain’, and are finally fixed in this pre climatic scene, showing us a brilliant character graph, rarely scene in Hindi films.

Kriti Sanon is a revelation. She is the perfect example of what a pretty face can do in Bollywood when not treated like ornaments. She owns the local dialect and is consistent with it.

But the star(s) of the movie are Rajkumar Roy and Seema Bhargav. The lady is poetry in motion. Her body language, her dialogue delivery is on point. Her simple hain, hain ki nahi, awkward social laughs are so true blue UPite that you can’t help but gush about her acting chops. Oh she is such a delight to watch.

In comparison to Ayushmann, Rajkumar Rao has a lot to play with and he brings out every nuance of Pritam Vidrohi as he switches between squeaky voiced simpleton to the baddie with a baritone. There is a scene where he is down and out, and he establishes that, even with his back, as he walks into a local market with droopy shoulders. He suddenly encounters the leading lady. There is role play here. He is expected to be all macho in front of her. The camera set on his back catches his face as he turns around and instantly the sagging shoulders perk up, the face looking bewildered and playing all cool. That moment shows what an incredible actor Rajkumar is. The sheer vulnerability when he says, ‘Meri Ma ke alawa mujhe koi pasand nahi karta’ made me smile and cry at the same time. When his character says, Character pakad ke chall rahe the, you applaud at the smart pun in the line. I think I didn’t say it enough- he is brilliant!!

Ashwiny Iyer Tiwari after giving us an adorable Nil Batte Sanatta weaves magic once again with her crisp direction, this time making it more commercial. The incredible editor Chandrashekhar Prajapati as always manages to keep the length of the film in check.

Bareilly Ki Barfi is a delicious film brilliantly narrated in Javed Akhtar’s voice. If you are not doing anything this weekend, go watch it. If you are already engaged, please cancel your engagements and go and watch it.

Toilet Ek Prem Katha Review

Toilet Ek Prem Katha

Director- Shree Narayan Singh

Starring- Akshay Kumar, Bhumi Pedneker, Divyendu Sharma and Anupam Kher

Rating- Read

 

After exhausting most causes of friction in a love story; social status, different career choices or personalities, director Shree Narayan Singh has come up with a rather interesting antagonist- Toilet in and as Toilet- Ek Prem Katha. Toilet here is only symbolic to mindsets of the conservative and corrupt political officials.

It’s a great idea to build a love story to address a social issue but one can’t help but notice the political agenda behind a film like this. Too many references to Swach Bharat, The Prime Minister of the country and even demonetization make you question the real intention of the film.

The first half of the film as most Hindi films celebrates a stalker of a lover, who sneakily takes pictures of the lady he loves, making her feel uncomfortable. What’s even more appalling was to see the audiences reel in laughter when the heroine is teased in the film. That is the irony of our lives, when Akshay Kumar does it on the screen, we find it funny, and when it adds to the rape culture of our country, when a road side Romeo teases the women in our families, it then becomes a tragedy. The heroine finally calls the bad behavior out, alas, to fall in love with him the next moment. Wow that makes so much sense.

The second half of the film brings the real issue. The village is rightly called ‘Mandgaon’ where people fear change and support defecating in the open in fields in name of tradition. In the process the film throws sarkar and sanskriti in lazy collages without actually delving into the history of no-toilet-at-home tradition or fleshing out details of the government scams. The ending is both hasty and unconvincing. The old fashioned women of the village suddenly have a change of heart. They abruptly support Jaya in her mission and cause a revolution. Even the patriarchal father comes around rather rapidly. He had to. After all they had to end the film.

The film is also a bundle of contradictions. On one hand it stands up for women and their rights. There is a dialogue when Keshav (Akshay Kumar) says aurat dhoti hain kya jo main use sambhalu, a sharp attack at this stupid notion of controlling your wife. On the other it makes rather distasteful jokes at women. A husband hoping his wife to fall in gutter or dialogues likebhabhi jawaan ho gayi, doodh ki dookan ho gayi are both forced and unfunny.

The film however packs some very convincing performances. Akshay is pretty much at home territory playing the crass, crude village boy. His bachche ki jaan lega casual dialogue delivery works for a character like Keshav. Though he doesn’t look anywhere close to 36 as suggested in the film, but he definitely looks convincing in an emotional scene where he helplessly breaks down in front of his family.

Bhumi Pednekar is such a refreshing change in fashion parade of ornamental Bollywood beauties. She owns the lines, gets the dialect right and delivers a cocker of a performance.

Sudhir Pandey and Divyendu Sharma as Keshav’s stubborn father and dutiful brother are good too. Ayesha Raza Mishra, our Indu chichi from Dil Dhadakne Do makes for a convincing Brajbhashi mother. Her body language and her dialogue delivery, show her stupendous range as an actor.

Toilet ek prem katha might have sounded great on paper, but loses impact in its telling. The film gets way too loopy and indulgent that I actually heard someone say ‘What crap man!’ aptly summing up a film called Toilet.

Munna Michael Review

Munna Michael

Director- Sabbir Khan

Starring- A wax model, a tiny waist line and One Man Acting Workshop

Rating- 5 Panadols

 Ronit Roy plays Michael. He finds an abandoned baby boy on the road, brings him home and calls him Munna. The baby is then called Munna Michael. It is this creative thinking that lends this movie a special edge. The film abounds with such gems. Like the dance reality show is called Dancing Star and wait for this one, an airline is called Just Fly. By the way if you haven’t yet figured out, you are reading this review on a screen. You have eyes. And you are alive. Captain Obvious Zindabad!!

So Munna Michael grows up to become his own wax model; Munna Mombatti. He loves his father so much that he leaves his ailing papa in Mumbai and goes to Delhi. Such love, I choked on my popcorn. What’s wrong with Papa, we have no clue. Anyway Munna Mombatti becomes BFFs with the One Man Acting Institute Mahinder played by Nawazudin Siddique, who wants to be a dancer so that he can impress a girl he loves. Why does he love her? Because she has blow-dried hair. That’s it. No questions asked, Mombatti becomes Acting Institute’s dance instructor, his wingman and his personal DHL service, delivering gifts to blow-dried hair. Blow-dried hair is not even once asked if she is interested or not. She shouldn’t be, because Lipstick under My Burkha is running in the next theatre.

Blow Dried Hair has her own struggles. She has a papa who disapproves her dancing. Yeah there are just too many pappas here man, don’t even ask. Though we never get to see Blow-dried Hair’s father but we must believe that he exists, like how we believe that the film has a plot and that the lead pair can act.

Blow Dried Hair falls in love with Munna Mombatti. Shit comes crashing down as Acting Institute finds out about their affair. His face becomes the Times Square of different billboards flashing such range of emotions; anger, betrayal, menace. Oh ho, short of shoving down his NSD degree our throats, Nawaz does everything to establish how upset he is.

We also switch cities from Mumbai to Delhi and back with a brochure song in Jordan. Brown Landscapes? YES! Hero wears a white shirt? YES!! Heroine wears a long red dress. HELL YESS!!!!

Oh also, there is some dance competition in the background, the judge of which, Farah Khan mouths WOWWWWW with such fake enthusiasm that Nepotism feels like a real problem. To Varun, Saif and Karan at least.

Tiger Shroff is earnest, dances well but needs to break his fixed deposit with Sabbir Khan that’s lending him no returns at all. He has done 4 films so far, 3 of which come from the same director who has depth of a saucer.

Ronit Roy hams as a Catholic father, like all Catholic characters in Hindi films. He drinks and forces an English word in a sentence to justify the cross he wears; aaiye, miliye mere SON se…tu ja apne DREAMS ko poora kar. Burp!

I feel sorry for the newcomer Nidhhi Agerwal who gets such a shabby film to start her career with.

What’s frustrating is Nawazuddin’s presence in such insipid films. It’s like directors use him to justify the mediocrity they churn out in name of movies. After Freaky Ali, Te3n and Raees, Munna Michael shows once again how we let one of the finest actors of our country down, by making him ham time and again to gain a few stupid laughs.

Dear Nawaz, you don’t need to prove you are a great actor. You just need to choose wise buddy.

After this ordeal, I want to bleach my eyes, my system with some good movies. Any suggestion guys?

Tubelight Review

Tubelight

Starring- Salman Khan, Mohammed Zeeshan Ayyub and Om Puri

Director- Kabir Khan

Rating- Read

 

Besides the theme of ‘faith moving mountains’ Tubelight is a sharp and a smart comment on present day’s twisted definition of nationalism. What’s even smarter is the way director Kabir Khan has merged the biggest superstar of the country with a character of a simpleton to put his point forward. Salman Khan plays the gullible Laxman aka Tubelight. He is like the alien in PK; innocent, not worldly and neutral enough to effectively show that screaming slogans for one’s country doesn’t make you a true blue patriot. The scene where Laxman and the little boy Guo (pun definitely intended) scream ‘Bharat Mata ki Jai’ to show their patriotism, subtly and smartly exposes how superficial this new wave of nationalism is.

 

Tubelight is largely copied from 2015 release Little Boy, where a young son’s faith brings his father back from the war. Salman Khan replaces the son whose father is replaced by a brother played by Sohail Khan and the entire story is based on how Laxman’s faith brings his brother back from the Indo-China war in 1962.

Despite a tongue in cheek dig at the country’s hottest debate, Kabir Khan makes it way too simplistic. For instance there is a typewriter placed unnecessary in the frame to shove it down our throats that it’s set in 1962.  Or the main protagonist Laxman forgets to zip up his pants, highlighting his naïve character. And then there is a string of too many songs; happy, festive and sad, highlighting every emotion in the film with neon colors.

It’s rather intriguing how Kabir Khan keeps it so subtle and yet so simplistic. Like the Chicken Song in Bajrangi Bhaijaan, that was a dig at the government’s decision of banning beef in the country, Tubelight has some clever scenes too. The scene where fake news of Chinese taking over, spread like wild fire and nobody seems to double check is written smartly. It hints at how we consume news on social media and believe all the forwards that we receive.

And despite all this the movie manipulates to evoke smiles, tears and most of all laughs. The scene where Laxman goes on an honesty spree, though contextual, seems like a forced attempt to make the film entertaining.

The film packs some heartwarming performances. My eyes welled up every time I saw Om Puri on the screen. We will miss such an honest, endearing actor. The scene where he calls Laxman different and not retarded is a reminder of how everyone is unique and should be accepted as is.

Mohammed Zeeshan Ayyub plays the obnoxious Narayan. I hated him. And I mean that only as a compliment. He mocks and ridicules Laxman, he instigates the crowd against Chinese and he nails it in every scene. He is one of the most underrated actors and I hope filmmakers wake up to his genius and use him often.

Salman keeps it very basic while playing the man child. He almost looks awkward, however there are a couple of scenes where he breaks down and you do feel Laxman’s pain.

Martin as the little kid and the Chinese actress Zhu Zhu are good too.

Writing a review for a Salman Khan film is like having an opinion on Arnab Goswami’s show. Like really? Is anyone even listening?

Minus the melodrama and manipulation, the film effectively deals with the theme of faith, love and tolerance and it means so much, especially when it comes from the most loved star in the country.

Mom Review

Mom

Director- Ravi Udyawar

Starring- Sridevi, Nawazudin Siddique and Akshay Khanna

Rating- 3 stars

Mom can be viewed in so many ways.

-Yet another revenge story.

-An emotional journey of a mom.

-A moral dilemma, a debate on taking law in hand.

Let me elaborate on each aspect.

 

Mom is story of a mother settling scores with her daughter’s rapists. The film that starts on a very powerful note, falters a bit as a thriller. It doesn’t pack any clever scheming or flawless planning. There are no on the edge, nail biting sequences where danger looms large. It gets a bit too simplistic in that department and you think to yourself Drishyam was a far better thriller that kept us guessing all through and blew us away with one of the best endings in a desi thriller ever.

 

But Mom scores high on the emotional front. I admit crime against women affects me deeply, so I am not sure if I was biased, or that it was good writing, sharp direction or fabulous performances or all of the above, that made me cry uncontrollably in the first half an hour of the movie. The director doesn’t resort to any manipulation to titillate audiences. The top shot of the car on deserted wintry streets of Delhi in which a young girl’s modesty is intruded conveys the tragedy effectively.

The first emotional half the movie derails in the second half. Slow motion shots of the main protagonist to unnecessarily highlight her heroism and forced dialogues stand in sharp contrast to the otherwise real texture of the film. “God couldn’t be everywhere hence he created moms” is such an old Archies Greetings card message that seemed so out of place in the movie.

Even a couple of lines by Nawazudin might evoke a smile but one can easily see they are written only for that, not contributing much to the story.

 

However it’s the amazing performances that keep the audiences invested in the characters.

Sridevi completes her third century and 5 decades of her innings with Mom. The scene where she breaks down to see her daughter in the hospital shows why she has lasted so long in the industry.

 

The Pakistani actress Sajal Ali shows promise as well. She plays the angry cold teenager with a lot of precision and conviction.

 

Another Pakistani actor Adnan Siddiqui also plays a helpless father rather well.

 

Akshay Khanna plays the Crime branch officer, the oddest character in the movie. Instead of investigating into the case and running after the criminals, he spies on the victims when he becomes suspicious of them taking revenge.

 

Nawazuddin Siddique has layers not only in his character or make up but even in his performance. He lends interesting quirks to his character of a Shiv devotee, like flicking his tongue like a snake or donning huge sunglasses so typical of detectives.

 

Despite all my empathy towards the victims, a small part in me debated if taking law in hands is the right thing to do or even promote in a film. The minor boy who rapes his classmate is also raped in jail. Isn’t that tragic too? But Mom is not Pink. It’s not a commentary on the society’s patriarchal mindset or on an immediate need of gender equality. It is an emotional story of a mother getting even with a bunch of criminals.

 

A Death In The Gunj Review

A Death In The Gunj

Director- Konkana Sen Sharma

Starring – Vikrant Massey, Ranvir Shorey, Kalki Koechlin, Om Puri and Tanuja

Rating- I don’t think I am even qualified or capable of encapsulating this gem in a number. But this is my first 5 stars in last 5 years that I have been reviewing films.

A death in the Gunj starts with two men adjusting a dead body in the trunk of the car. ‘Maybe if we bend the knees and keep the body in foetal position?’ They discuss nonchalantly. This is a powerful scene as this insensitivity sets the tone of the film and prepares us for what’s in store.

Shyamal (who doesn’t like being introduced as Shuttu) is a 23 year old sensitive man who has lost his father. A brilliant student otherwise, he has failed in his exams. He is visiting his aunt and uncle (Tanuja and Om Puri) with his cousins, Nandu (Gulshan Dewaiah), Bonnie didi (Tilotama Shome) and his niece Tani (Arya Sharma). There are Vikram (Ranvir Shorey), Brian (Jim Sarbh) and Mimmie (Kalki Koechlin) as family friends, sometimes playing the audience to his tragedy, sometimes adding to it.

Never in a Hindi film before has a title been so powerful. A Death in The Gunj prompts danger, an impending tragedy. We see it creepily crawl on us right in the beginning of the film as this young bunch tries to call spirits in a dark room, playing a practical prank on poor Shuttu.

We hope against an accident, when Shuttu tries to drive a car under his cousin’s supervision or outshine the bully, Vikram in a seemingly harmless game of Kabbadi.

We almost see ‘the death in the gunj’ in the pre climactic scene when Shuttu comes face to face with a wolf. Death looms large. It seems to sneak up on Shuttu and us from the outside. How and if it arrives in the climax of the film, is the crux of this heartbreaking film on repression and neglect.

Shuttu is let down, one by one, by everyone in the family.

Maushi Bakshi knows about Shuttu’s bad performance in his exams and calls it ‘weird irresponsible behavior’ and presses him to call his mother against his will. She asks him to go back to his mother without asking him even once what’s bothering him.

Everyone turns to Shuttu for small chores. In a scene at the lunch table, Shuttu feels excited sitting next to Mimmie, the girl he likes. At that very moment Bonnie asks him to pass her the shawl. He reluctantly leaves and loses the seat to Vikram, Mimmie’s ex. In another scene Mimmie flirts, ‘Do you have time for a girlfriend?’ when Maushi summons Shuttu to fetch her some custard. Heartbreaking.

Vikram, one of the family friends, is mean to Shuttu and adds to his misery. Cousin Nandu expects him to toughen up, because 23 year old men don’t sulk, they get married. There is a tear-jerker of a scene where Shuttu is seen digging his face into the wall and bawling his eyes out in the middle of the night. Nandu sees Shuttu struggle, walks him to bed but doesn’t even once ask him why he was crying. He doesn’t even mention it to anyone in the family. It’s right in front of him. It doesn’t get more obvious than that, that, Shuttu needs help. It’s at this point when the film becomes so universal, a subtle hint at how we abandon our loved ones.

Tani who is regularly neglected by her parents bonds with Shuttu over dead moths and ants, over sketching and poems. Even Tani turns her face away from Shuttu towards the end? Why? Because Shuttu, for once, puts his needs before her demands.

Tani’s mother Bonnie is keyed into Shuttu’s sensitive world. She tells everyone to go easy on him and she turns bitter too as she holds him responsible for a brief tragedy that strikes the family.

Shuttu finds some solace in love. He makes passionate love to the girl he is attracted to, without realizing that he is just a rebound for her. From ‘do you have time for a girlfriend’ to ‘you should concentrate on studies’, Mimmie causes an insensitive, an irrepairable heartbreak.

Even the house help are condescending. In one scene, the servant, Maniya finds Shuttu fallen in a ditch, instead of showing any sympathy, he asks him why he was hiding there, like it was some hobby.

The film’s success lies in its subtlety and real treatment. Shuttu is nursing a tragedy, the demise of his father. At no point the film manipulates your emotions. There are no black and white flashbacks of Shuttu’s childhood with his father, collaging in and out on the screen. It’s not a Rakesh Om Prakash film or Imtiaz Ali’s recent Jab Stardom met Boredom, where flashbacks happen without any rhyme or reason. In fact we don’t even see Shuttu’s father at all. All we see is his sweater that Shuttu hugs and wears and a black and white picture in his wallet, that are enough to stir emotions within us.

The film scores high on atmospherics as well. You are transported to 1979 winters. The house, the furniture, even a Rubik’s cube, everything is used so evocatively in the film.

I particularly enjoyed how Konkana Sen Sharma breaks stereotypes around women. Mothers are expected to look or behave a certain way in our films and society. When they don’t, they are tagged as smart/fast or sluts. Heroines in order to challenge biases are shown drinking and smoking. They are shown as promiscuous. That, on one hand works, as it breaks away from the repression. On the other, it becomes superficial, unnecessarily glorifying some vices. A Death In The Gunj is subtle. Grand moms have short hair, women drink and smoke as naturally as men without ever making it look like a statement or rebellion. It’s so casually natural, like how it should be.

A death in the gunj also hints at class divides. Bakshi family and friends make merry celebrating New Year’s. The scene is smartly juxtaposed with the house help eating dinner from the same plate as the family’s dog.

Konkana strikes gold and shows how sharp and precise a director she is, getting such nuanced performances from such a delightful pool of talent she deals with.

Everyone in the film is remarkable but the central character Vikrant Massey is a class apart. He uses his smile, eyes, body language to give you valuable insights into his vulnerability without ever making it too dramatic or in your face. The last scene where he helplessly apologizes through his gritting teeth is a visual that will haunt me for months.

A Death In The Gunj is one of the most sensitive films ever made. It made me think about my childhood and my family. It makes you look around and see if you have deserted a loved one, especially when someone tried to reach out to you in their vulnerable times. I felt a knot in my stomach, fought tears as I walked to the parking lot, couldn’t sleep for next 2 nights and made sure I checked on my family and friends regularly.

I don’t think I can ever say it enough, but, please watch the movie whenever you get an opportunity; on the internet, on a plane or most deservedly on the big screen.

Half Girlfriend Review

Half Girlfriend

Director- Mohit Sappy

Starring- Nepotism

Rating- Right at the end

Creepy Stalker flashes his creepiest smile at the Grumpy Barbie. She frowns, obviously, duh. But then it starts raining. And not falling in love at this time is a downright blasphemous insult to Indra Devta in Bollywood!! So when everyone else runs helter skelter, seeking shelter, Grumpy Barbie walks straight into the rains, looks up at the sky, as if trying to find the reason behind this rare phenomenon called precipitation or the meaning of this insipid movie. Our horny Creepy Stalker follows her around, drops his jaws and finds a reason to live in Delhi.

During a basketball game, I know how lame, Creepy Stalker asks her out for a movie. She makes it clear it’s not a date yet Creepy touches Grumpy’s hand in the movie. She instantly withdraws, but consent is an overrated term in the world of raging hormones, just like security in Bollywood India. Hence our couple dodges the guards at India Gate, goes right at the top of the monument and talks about their dreams. As they sat on the edge, I secretly hoped one of them would fall off and die. Alas no such luck and Grumpy shares her Miley Cyrus dreams of singing in a New York bar.

Cut to Humayun Tomb, Cyrus becomes Shreya and attracts all gora tourists in the country for the Central Park effect.  At the end of the song, Grumpy kisses Creepy, introduces him to her parents, feels confused and announces herself as his half girlfriend. And that’s just unfair. I mean what will Creepy write on his Facebook relationship status, right? So he invites her to his room for a bed or buddy test. He drops hints, makes moves and manhandles her for not sleeping with him. It’s not his fault. I think Pink didn’t release in Bihar. No, chuck sarcasm. Let me say it as is. Dearest Bollywood, STOP CREATING HEROES OUT OF THESE HINEOUS CHARACTERS WHO YOU PAINT AS VICTIMS. STOP ADDING TO THE RAPE CULTURE. STOP THIS CRIME ALREADY!

Creepy and Grumpy part ways. Thankfully. Creepy sulks. Arijit sings. Grumpy has a change of wardrobe. Arijit sings. Creepy runs in slowmo. Arijit sings. They part ways again. Arijit sings the same song over and over and over and over again.

Half Girlfriend is an exasperatingly asinine love story sans depth or any kind of reasoning. It glorifies stalking, manhandling, belittles grave medical conditions and girl education issue with its lame and superficial treatment. It lazily talks about small town life, class divides, language barriers, gender inequality and penury. My childhood debates were far better researched than this painfully pseudo love saga that rolls out for a painful two and a half hours.

Shradha Kapoor is a hardworking actor. She started promoting the film while shooting for it as she sashays around in her college in designer clothes, looking more like a movie star than a student.

Arjun Kapoor is a fabulous actor though. His range of emotions is unbelievable- stare, sulk and smile. And then they say nepotism is not a real problem, especially when you have a far more talented Vikrant Massey in the same frame as Creepy, as not the lead but a supporting character. Half a star only for Vikrant’s performance.

 

Naam Shabana Review

Naam Shabana

Director- Shivam Nair

Starring- Tapsee Pannu, Manoj Bajpayee, Akshay Kumar and Prithvi

Rating- Waaav, so woman centric. Err NOT!

Naam Shabana is a special film. It has two songs in a club. One of them is an item number called Baby Besharam. Because it’s high time women can be unapologetically besharam too. See how progressive, how woman centric!! That is Naam Shabana for you; a film that wants to preach that heroism is irrespective of gender and hence Shabana, a college and martial arts student is picked by an undercover Indian Intelligence agency.

It’s so woman centric, so woman centric, that they had to hire Mrs. Funny Bones’ husband to help our Shabana in the climax of the film. Ajay (Akshay Kumar) comes, reaches out to the spotlight, shifts it on himself, earns all the whistles and applause and exits like a boss.

There are two major fight sequences in the climax, one involving Shabana and the main baddie, the other involving Ajay and baddie’s right hand. There is a slight difference though. While Ajay beats his opponent blue and black, Shabana struggles against the big baddie (Prithvi) and gains victory only by a fluke. It is this difference that exposes the irony of it all. It’s understandable that women can be physically weaker than men. But you must have chosen a lady officer for a reason, right? A reason that NEVER gets explored in the film.

“Women have it in their DNA, they are born spies.” Explains Manoj Bajpayee to Shabana why she has been selected. We hence expect some shrewd spying in the offing. Some strategizing where Shabana’s strengths are revealed that justify her involvement in such a high profile case. Instead we get a montage of her rigorous training against a song that has inspiring lyrics like Aandhi, Toofan and Zinda. Waaaav, so amazing…we have never seen this before except in Mary Kom, Bhag Milkha Bhag, Brothers, Dangal, Sultan, Saala Khadoos…phew! There is hardly any convincing reason in the film why Shabana is chosen for ‘one of the most important intelligence operations.’

Some of the sequences are mind blowing. The agents from the intelligence finally pin the villain down. This is serious shit ok. Like they have been chasing him for ten years and all. They beat him, punch him, interrogate him and then finally excuse him alone because he wants to go do susu!! The villain looks into the bathroom mirror with a smug smile, thinking bewakoof saale. I started rooting for him. I was like these intelligence guys deserve it for letting ten years of chasing, down the susu drain.

You see I want to like this film. I promise I really do. But in the first five minutes into the film, they show a man taking a picture on his Blackberry. Burp!! No no I am not judging here. Hell I am. Because the man takes a high resolution, sharp, high definition picture of a man sitting 5 miles away. Yeh Blackberry hain ya Nat Geo ka 1628793 X DSLR?

Akshay Kumar in his 15 minutes appearance pulls a SRK in a Lux ad on us. We find him in a tub and choke on our popcorn. And then there is Anupam Kher in a pointless role. He has borrowed a vig from Donald Trump and colored it black. Yikes!!

Tapsee Pannu gets a couple of emotional scenes right but her straight-suppress-my-feelings-face gets too monotonous. The film makes unnecessary judgments on civilians and their choices in order to glorify the defense. Err. Not cool! The film has a few beautiful shots of Mumbai, especially the ones shot in an Iranian café, but the overall plot, the execution, the slow pace and the lazy editing make it a rather dull watch.

-Lokesh Dharmani

(This is my weekly review on Masala!)

 

Phillauri Review

Phillauri

Starring- Anushka Sharma, Suraj Sharma, Diljeet Dosanh and Mehreen Pirzada

Director- Anshai Lal

Rating- Meh

Everyone drinks merrily in Phillauri. We are introduced to a granny who drinks. It’s 9 am and she is already seen with a glass. And it makes perfect sense to have such a character in your film. Everyone loved the drinking dadi in Vicky Donor; everyone will love this one as well. So what if drinking in Vicky Donor signified bonding between the otherwise quarreling mother in law and daughter in law, a means to unwind, relax and let go. So what if it has no connection inPhillauri? As long as we come across as progressive and liberal, because, hey, broad-mindedness in Bollywood is spelled as J-a-c-k D-a-n-i-e-l-s.

You wait and watch for it to make some sense. Soon the film shifts time to 100 years ago. We see Phillauri (Diljit Dosanj), a Sufi looking fellow, with an Iktara in one hand and liquor in the other.Chaar bottle Vodka…kaam mera roz ka…continues! He really is the Yo Yo Honey Singh in pre-independence times. He sings meaningful songs that celebrate his manhood and his escapades with PYTs in his village. But it’s different you see. There is some Sufism in his‘Ladkion ka laga hain buffet…’ thought! He sings-

Bajake Tumba Saari Pind ki Kundiyon Ka
Phillauri Nachda Bajaka Tumba

Wow such poetry. I can die in peace now!!

Phillauri has two love stories interlinked with each other. Both stories are just spectacular. I mean spectacularly weak. Shashi in pre-independence times (Ansuhka Sharma) wants to convert our Yo Yo Honey Singh into Sonu Nigham and Anu in 2017 (Mehreen Pirzada) is just clueless why her Canada returned fiancé Kanan, is having cold feet before their wedding.

Shashi-Phillauri love story still managed to leave some impact with all its socio-economic background and its effect on people, especially women. But the modern love story had far bigger issues to deal with; the inner struggle of a young K’nada returned boy trying to understand The Roadies kind of ‘hum das saal se “go around” kar rahe hain’ language spoken by his fiance. It’s a mind bending clash of the sensibilities (read accents)!!

The film though packs some genuinely heartfelt performances.

Anushka Sharma is a natural. She lends meaning to her lines but even her acting chops couldn’t save a mediocre script. Her hazy sparkling ghost look is interesting but beyond a point she looks too white and bright and so ready to feature in the next Happy Dent gum ad.

Suraj Sharma looks genuinely appalled seeing the ghost and brings a decent amount of earnestness to his character. But I can’t believe he went from Life of Pi to Phillauri!! He is like Alia Bhatt in reverse.

Mehreen Pirzada shows promise in an emotional ‘drunk’ scene and successfully shows Anu’s insecurities and helplessness.

The film is extremely slow paced. It takes you exactly a second to guess the mystery of the disappearing man (Diljit) who ditched his bride (Anushka) at the altar but the film takes years to reveal it.

Phillauri despite some genuinely good performances failed to stir any emotions or strike any chord.

Raees Review

Raees

Director-Rahul-did-he-really-direct-Parzania-Dholakia?

Starring- Shah Rukh Khan and Mahira Khan

Rating- Please read 🙂

A kid helps bootleggers in their deals and his mother doesn’t even know about it. Because she is busy mouthing Mother India kind of dialogues to an ophthalmologist, “Main ise udhar ka nazariya nahi dena chahti…” as she refuses to buy her son a pair of glasses with borrowed money.

And why glasses? Arey hero ka look hain bhai. So what if we can’t create depths in the character, we sure can create depths in his look. Kohl eyes, swag in his walk, an extended goatee are a few things we focus on, in name of characterization.

And oh by the way, Mamma India continues with her gyan… “Koi bhi dhanda chota ya bada nahi hota” as long you don’t hurt anyone. But our Raees has selective hearing and conveniently forgets about the latter half. In his first attempt at his dhanda he steals a swanky car, trades it for some goats and singlehandedly whacks a bunch of hot headed men, all of which you see, shouldn’t be much of a problem, because these are side characters. They are meant to be hurt in a Hindi film anyway.

With mom’s weirdly misinterpreted approval (Ammi jaan kaha karti thi) and Raees’s even more weird sense of narcissism (Baniye ka dimaag aur Miya Bhai ki daring), writers justify everything illegal in his world.

And if that is not enough, we still need to humanize him and bring in a bit of Rahul in Raees. Hence our hero stands up for mill workers, empowers local ladies, cooks for his wife, breaks into a Garba, becomes a politician, a builder, a Ted Talk speaker where he hopes for a world, devoid of bhook ka darr and garibi ki maar. Oh ho such pain in these lines that I badly wanted to pop in a Panadol.

Wait there is even a Hindu Muslim bhai bhai episode. See apna Raees is so secular.

Even the climax is so melodramatic; violins start playing abruptly on montages of Raees’s wife, mother and kid, trying hard to cajole manipulatively the last bit of sympathy out of me that I never felt!!

Sadly there is nothing heroic, tragic or even comic about our protagonist that could get me invested in his story. The hunter and hunted chase sequences between Raees and his cop are so lazily written that they hardly establish the much required edge-on-the-seat tension or drama. When the cops block the roads, Raees smuggles liquor through the waters. Wow. Amaze balls, Captain Obvious. It is this simplistic writing that robs our hero of quick thinking, ruthlessness and a larger than life appeal.

Even the dialogues seem forced and juvenile. Raees holds a microphone and says ‘mai ka laal’ (geddit? As in ‘Mic’ ka laal) and then repeats the joke fearing if we missed it.

Nawazuddin plays the menacing cop rather well.

Mahira Khan, as most supporting cast, is sadly wasted in the movie. In a scene Raees tells her not to ‘use her brains’ and that pretty much sums up the sad roles of our female parts in most Hindi films. But she is amazing. She is the first pregnant lady ever who doesn’t show any pregnancy bulge and suddenly delivers a baby one fine day.

And then there is a Sunny Leone too without much purpose. It could be anyone else: a Sunny Deol for all you care and it wouldn’t matter much. Or wait, maybe it would. I mean a Sunny Deol dancing to Laila oh Laila would be at least entertaining.

Watch Raees only if you are a big Shah Rukh Khan fan.